


Thank You For Your Service, Gentlemen

by Cannibal_Felix (orphan_account)



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Addiction, Alcohol, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, M/M, Minor Character, Minor Character(s), Pre-Canon, Rough Sex, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-09 05:01:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 27,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4334837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Cannibal_Felix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bit of a pre-canon fic.</p><p>Felix and Locus weren't always mercenaries, once they were in the army and after that they had nowhere to go and nobody to lean on but each other.</p><p>((Warning, this fic has currently been put on pause.))</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The war is over, whoptee-fucking-doo

The war was over. Not something he thought he would ever hear and defiantly not something he thought he would live to see. Thousands of soldiers would be shipped home and the news channels were buzzing with excitement and parties were breaking out all over human occupied space. His squad would be leaving in the morning. It was bittersweet.

Only because he would never have to see any of them again, and not because he wanted to go home. He didn't have a home to return to. He had joined the army to escape homelessness, and now they were sending him back to that. He had a little money saved up, only a few thousand dollars, he had spent most of his money on luxury armor upgrades because he never planned on surviving the war. It should last him a few weeks in a motel while he tried to find a job.

"Locus," a sharp whisper from the bunk beneath him. Locus shut his eyes tight and didn't say anything. "Locus, hey." The sound of weight being lifted from creaky bedsprings. "Locus! Asshole!" his arm was being slapped at.

"Felix go to sleep." Locus groaned opening his eyes to see, in the low light coming from somebody's reading light nearby, the wildly colored orange hair of Felix. "We're supposed to be asleep."

"We're going home tomorrow do you think they care if we sleep or not?" His brows knitted together.

"I would like to get some sleep, actually," Locus said. Felix pulled himself onto the bed anyway, laying across it sideways with his legs hanging off and his arms behind his head.

"I wanna talk to you, we're friends right?"

"Not usually," Locus grumbled. "What do you want, Felix?"

"It's a bummer that we won't be able to kill anybody anymore, right?" Felix asked, careful to keep his voice a whisper.

"I was thinking the impending threat of unemployment would be a bit more worrisome." Locus relaxed his legs, laying them across Felix's chest lightly. He'd fall asleep there if he got comfortable.

"I don't have anything to worry about."

"You didn't finish high school."

"I'll get my GED"

Their voices must have raised without them noticing because suddenly a chorus of "shut the fuck up." was rising in the bunk room and Felix was swearing at it. Locus slapped a hand over his mouth and apologized softly before laying back. 

"This place is no fun," Felix whispered harshly.

"They are trying to sleep," Locus responded. Felix made a soft disapproving noise and then yawned.

"Are you gonna keep in touch with me?" It was a loaded question. On one hand, Felix was practically his right hand when it came to fighting and battle. On the other, he wouldn't be doing much fighting or any battling at all.

"No. I never want to see anybody in this room ever again." 

Felix struggled to get out from under Locus's legs and he assumed it was because he wanted to go back to his own bed so he let him up, only for Felix to get on his hands and knees above Locus and crack a shit eating grin. 

"Then it's my last chance to pull the moves on you then I guess," he said, leaning over and kissing the corner of Locus's mouth. Locus only gave him a hard look.

"Felix..." he said. 

"Look last time we made out you actually really liked it, and I really wanna try and get in your pants before we never see each other again," Felix said, his voice lower than ever.

"We're in a room full of people Felix," Locus said. "Not now." Felix huffed like a wronged four-year-old and laid down beside Locus, pulling himself under his blankets. 

"Fine. But I'm staying here." 

"Keep your boney elbows out of my back," Locus said rolling over. Felix's rebuttal was jabbing his elbows into the small of Locus's back a few times before rolling over and falling asleep.

____________________

Locus had refused the first few times Felix begged, but he had finally gotten him to agree to come with him to his parent's house. He used every excuse from moral support to maybe staying for dinner and what finally got Locus to come was Felix reminding him he didn't have his own family to see. 

Felix had been confident on the taxi ride over to his old home, but once he set foot on the pavement, he froze. Locus stood beside him, looking up at the one story home with an iron gate wrapped around it.

"Locus I haven't been honest with you."

"Were you ever?"

"I'm only twenty years old." Felix looked up at his companion. It didn't take Locus, but a second to do the math.

"You joined the army when you were sixteen." Felix bit his lip. "I think it's a crime to lie to the government like that." Locus looked down at him. "Is your real name even Felix?"

"You have a lot of room to talk, William." Felix hissed. "But yes my real first name is Felix."

"Your parents are probably pissed off that you ran away and joined the military, aren't they?"

"Their very anti-war."

"Felix..." Locus groaned. If this meant what he thought it did he wasn't getting rid of Felix anytime soon.

"If they don't take me back," his hand grabbed the corner of Locus's shirt, "Don't leave me, okay?" Locus didn't respond and instead placed one hand on Felix's back and pushed him up the path to the front door.

When Felix hesitated, Locus knocked for him and a tall older woman answered, a flower pattern mug in one hand and a pleasant smile on her face, but when she looked at Felix she frowned. 

"Mom, I'm home," Felix said in a smile childlike voice. 

"Felix, you're not welcome here." The words hit so hard even Locus flinched. "There is no place in my home for a soldier. You know that."

"But..."

"How could you do that, Felix? After your brother died how could you run off and join the army?" her voice was harsh and Felix just wanted to close his ears to the noise. Locus's demanding hand turned soft on his back and took a comforting perch on his shoulder. His mother gave him one last foal look and slammed the door in his face. 

"Mean old bitch," he scoffed, but there were tears forming in the corners of his eyes and threatening to spill over. Locus turned around and started walking down the path. "Where are you going?" Felix asked turning around. 

"Hurry up Felix or I'm gonna leave you." Locus growled without looking behind him. Felix took one last look behind him and followed Locus. 

This was the beginning of a lovely partnership.


	2. Rough waters approaching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zach Miller makes an appearance.

Three loud knocks on the door were all it took to bring Locus out of his fitful sleep. He never slept well these days. He stood up, stretched and looked down at his bed to find that Felix had found his way into it sometime during the night. He scoffed and turned on his heel to answer the door to the face of the motel's owner, Doug, who didn't look too happy with him.

"I know we haven't paid in a few weeks-"

"Well good then you know why I'm here," Doug fumed, his hands planted firmly on his hips. "I tried to be nice, Locus, but you don't even have a job and on top of that, your boyfriend over there trashes the place constantly."

"He's not-"

"Not your boyfriend I get it, it's a joke Einstein," Doug let out a ragged breath. "Look, you have a week to get me my money or you're out of here. Got it?"

"Understood." Locus shut the door as Doug turned and walked away. He stood over Felix, his legs were tangled in a blanket and a pillow was pulled over his head as he tried to squeeze the last remaining bits of sleep he could, then Locus pushed him off the bed much to his protest.

"You asshole!" Felix complained as Locus stepped over him into the bathroom. 

"We're getting kicked out and I'm blaming you, Mr. I'll-get-my-GED," Locus growled.

"That was totally my plan, how was I to know it cost a lot of money." Felix sat up with his arms around his legs. "Besides how is me being a high school drop-out keeping you from getting a job- Oh wait it isn't." He stood up and leaned in the bathroom doorway while Locus brushed his teeth. "You can't get a job because you're fucking terrifying."

"And yet I can't seem to scare you off," he snapped, spitting into the sink and wiping his mouth with the back of his hands. Felix stuck his tongue out at his roommate. "We have that interview today, maybe if you behave we'll get the job." 

"Oh please, Locus, It's a packing plant, I don't have to behave I just have to show up." Felix rolled his eyes. 

"I'm serious, this is a good job," Locus said. "You said that about the carpet mill and guess what? You had 'murdering people' underneath special skills on your resume."

"That was a joke, I thought I deleted that, you know that!" Felix said straightening his back and standing on his tip toes to try and get eye level with Locus. "You would have got the job if it wasn't for the fact you dropped your fucking gun and scared the living daylights out of the interviewer. I told you not to bring it, but you never listen to me."

"Why would I do something for you that you wouldn't do for me?" Locus started to raise his voice. "What about that job you had but you fucked it up by showing up drunk!"

"I wouldn't have been drunk if you didn't raise a toast to me getting the job."

"I had one fucking glass of whiskey and you finished the bottle!" Locus said, "What the fuck- who does that?! I should have known better than to let a twenty-year-old drink!"

"Screw you!" 

"Wouldn't you like to?!" Felix hauled off and punched Locus in the face and it was returned with a punch in the gut. Felix kicked him and Locus head butted him. The fight was heated to the point that Doug broke down the door and demanded that they leave and never come back.

"You fuck everything up," Locus said, spitting out a tooth as they walked away from the motel.

"You didn't have to fight me," Felix said, his voice was low and without the fire that it usually held. 

Any normal person would have suggested splitting up, but the thought of being alone at this point was too much for Locus to think about. Sure Felix pissed him off, but being a little mad sometimes and being completely alone were too different things entirely.  
____________________

They went to their interview that afternoon. Locus, with a split lip and a black eye and Felix with bruises just becoming visible against his pale skin and a limp, they were turned away at the door. 

When they left, they stood outside not certain of what to do, Locus turned to Felix, not sure what to do or say but when Felix tensed up, shaking slightly and said, "Just hit me I know you want to." All Locus could do was laugh and pat him on the shoulder.

"I'm not gonna hit you," Locus said. "Granted I want to, but I'm starving."

Felix opened his mouth to say something, but his stomach growled, drowning out his words. 

"Let's go eat," Locus said, patting him on the back as they walked.

"Eat what? We're broke." Felix pouted, he hated that word. He hated that they didn't have a dime to their name. "Unless you wanna ask Zach for another favor."

"That's what I was thinking," Locus admitted.

"We owe him so much already, Locus, how long do you wanna ride on his kindness?" Felix scoffed, but he was starving, any protest he had was canceled out by the fact that he needed something to eat and Zach was their best bet.

____________________

Locus banged on the metal door a few times and waited a moment before doing it again, that was the code. Zach poked his head out a minute later, eyeing the two of them with a bemused look on his face.

"Evening," he said with laughter in his voice, "Looking for another favor?"

"We'll pay you back big time, Miller," Locus said.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you say that every week." He shouldered his way into the alley, a to-go bag in each hand. "Really it's no skin off my back either way, customers send food back all the time." He said, setting the bags on the top of the dumpster because he technically wasn't allowed to hand it directly to them. "Are you guys thirsty?" Zach asked watching Felix pick through the bags and having Locus scold him for trying to be picky.

"You're too kind, Zach," Felix said guzzling the bottle of coke that was handed to him.

"You guys are cool in my book, and I figure you're both tough enough that if I need a hand, you'll help me out of a pinch." Felix would do a lot more for Zach if he asked. They had been coworkers at one point at this particular Chinese place, and to-go orders were constantly left unclaimed and the food was constantly being sent back, so that's how they ate for a while. But when customers started complaining about Locus being off-putting and Felix was caught stealing from the cash box they were both let go. But if Locus knew anything it was; don't burn bridges and they'd come here for food in a pinch so often that Zach never threw anything out.

"We got kicked out of the motel." Felix took a seat on top of the dumpster as he picked through a plate of food.

"Eat the vegetables too, Felix." Locus said under his breath.

"Ah that sucks, guys," Zach said, "Who knew there came an end to hospitality when you stop paying rent."

"We ran out of money what were we suppose to do?" Felix said.

"You guys have a place to stay tonight?" Zach asked, changing the subject.

"Nope." Felix said, making a disgusted face at his fork.

"If you guys do the dishes for me I'll look that other way if you wanna sleep in the break room, I have the overnight shift alone."

____________________

"Zach's a good dude." Felix said, stretching out across the blanket Zach had let him barrow. 

"We have to pay him back somehow." Locus said, laying beside Felix. The floor was the only place they could sleep in the small closet where they kept to-go boxes and that they called the "break room" because it was the only place you could sit down without the cameras catching you. 

"We did the dishes for him didn't we?"

"He didn't have to offer us anything."

Felix yawned and rolled into Locus's side for warmth, the room was drafty and cold, Locus was warm and had big arms. The smaller man sighed contently when Locus pulled one arm over him and let him use the other as a pillow.

"One of these days we'll pay him back," Felix said in a small voice straight into Locus's collar bone. "Once we've made it big."

____________________

Locus woke up early the next morning, Felix wasn't in the room and for a minute he panicked. His worry melted into annoyance when he walked out of the room and found Zach and Felix talking in hushed tones over by the counter.

"So seriously he hasn't tried taking you guys any farther?"

"No, he's lame," Felix whispered, " we do everything together and he still hates me."

Locus cleared his voice and the two spun around, "Morning." He said.

"Morning big guy, did I wake you up when I left?" Felix asked with an easy grin spread across his face.

"No." Locus said, "I hardly knew you were gone."

 

"See?" Felix lowered his voice and leaned in close to Zach.

"Don't talk about me."

"We we're talking about you Mr. Paranoid." Zach chided.

"Did you tell him I was paranoid?!" Locus demanded.

"Didn't have to." Felix purred.


	3. What, are you jealous?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally a little action!
> 
> Please take note of the new tags/ warnings.
> 
> Choking in this chapter.

Locus wiped the sweat off his brow as he pushed through the curtain that separated their small room in the back of an abandoned warehouse from the rest of the world. Felix was leaned against a wall, staring out the broken window. Locus kicked a bottle and grunted and Felix turned and looked at him, and for a moment his eyes looked sad, sunken in, his brow was scrunched together as if he was having trouble seeing and he just looked- sad. But in an instant he was smiling a devilish smile again and uncrossing his arms as he sat down on a milk crate and gestured to the bag of old Chinese food in the corner that he had clearly already went through.

"Zach came by?" Locus asked as he set down his bag as he walked towards it and sat down, eating hungrily. He didn't care that the food was cold or tasted bad or had a hair in it. He was starving.

"No, I went and saw him while I was out looking for a job," Felix said. Locus stopped eating and looked up.

"Why?" He asked, a noodle hanging from the corner of his mouth. Felix leaned forward and wiped it away.

"Just to talk, you can't expect me to just hang around here all day hoping for a miracle," He said. Locus was sure that's what he was doing, "What? Are you jealous of Zach?"

Locus shook his head. "No nothing like that, you just shouldn't be wasting time while I'm working my ass off trying to keep this job." 

"I'm not wasting time, geez," Felix looked offended. "I just needed some down time, we talked for like fifteen minutes while he was on break." Felix settled down beside him while he ate, stealing a piece of chicken and popping it in his mouth. It tasted dry and it was raw in the middle, but Felix wasn't one to complain these days. The food had been worse in the army.

Locus finished eating, or at least couldn't eat anymore of the awful food, and set it aside. He laid an arm over Felix's shoulder and let him lean in close to him.

"How was work?"

"Tiring."

"Can I kiss you?"

"No," Locus said as Felix ripped himself from his arms and stomping across the room to their mattress. "What's your problem!?" Locus growled standing up.

"You're my problem! You're constantly doing these small sweet things and then when I wanna kiss you, you refuse!" Felix pulled a blanket over his body.

"Why do you always act like such an infant when you don't get your way?!" Locus said, "So what if I'm not ready for you to kiss me just because I hugged you?!"

"You're a prick," Felix grumbled.

"You stress me out!"

"Well, you stress me out!" Felix jumped back up and got in Locus's face. His nostrils were flared and his eyes were fiery. "You're always trying to tell me what to do and to shut up when you know what William? There is no reason I should ever have to listen to you!"

"I have more sense then you do, you have no life skills, no common sense! You didn't even finish high school! I'm trying to keep you safe!"

"You're doing a piss poor job at it! We're homeless you idiot! We're not safe, we're not healthy! You go to work with food poisoning most of the time-" Felix's eyes had started to water and he was panting hard, he choked out a sob and buried his face in Locus's chest. "All-all we have," he couldn't compose the words. "All we have been each other, Locus. And you don't understand that that means a lot to me." Locus wrapped his arms around Felix's body and tried to calm him down.

"It means a lot to you- hey stop- you're a soldier..." He said softly while Felix cried into him. He leaned into his ear. "Do you want me to kiss you now?" Felix didn't answer, he just leaned in and kissed Locus hard on the lips. Locus paused for a second, shocked by Felix's sudden change in mood but leaned into the kiss, closing the distance between them. He ran his fingers through Felix's hair and pulled their waists together. Felix kissed his neck, his chest, lifted his shirt and thumbed at his nipples. 

"Felix are you trying to seduce me?"

"Shut up," Felix said, kissing his mouth again, his lips tasted like sweat and dirt. Locus bit his bottom lip softly as he pushed him towards the wall. Felix stepped backward eagerly, pulling at Locus's pants as they went. Locus slipped him out of his pants and pushed him against the wall, kissing his jaw and down his neck to the huge jagged scar there. Felix wrapped his legs around Locus's waist, trusting him to hold him there. Locus held him with one arm and used the other to gently stroke his dick. Felix was making soft, pleasured noises as he fingered himself.

"Are you ready?" Locus asked into his collar bone. 

"Choke me while you put it in, William." Felix breathed hard as the hand holding his cock lifted to put small pressure on his neck while he guided his dick into his ass. 

"Like that?" he asked watching Felix's eyes roll back into his head as he pounded him against the wall. He removed his hand from his neck to give Felix a few more strokes. 

"Wil-" Locus placed a hand over Felix's mouth as the name started.

"Call me that one more time and I'm going to drop you," Locus said under his breath. 

Felix wrapped his arms around Locus's neck "Locus," he moaned quietly as he came. 

____________________

They laid on their makeshift bed, an old mattress covered in various blankets they had found at thrift stores. 

"I should fake cry more often." Felix yawned as he curled into Locus's side.

"You what?!" Locus bolted upright. Felix's face contorted into a look of panic.

"Was that out loud?" He laughed nervously. 

"You're unbelievable, Felix." Locus snapped, pushing him away.

"Are you mad?" Felix asked as Locus rolled over, huffed once, and fell asleep.

____________________

"He was pissed off at me!" Felix said. "I don't know why he was so mad, the sex was great!"

"I've never had sex, Felix,, but I can't imagine it would make up for lying to get into your friend's pants," Zach said, throwing his cigarette to the ground and stomping it out with his heel.

"I didn't lie!" Felix adjusted himself on the low wall they were sitting on. " I brought up some very real concerns of mine."

"But you were pretending to cry while doing it, jack ass," Zach said, nodding politely as a woman came jogging past them. The park was busy this time of day, Felix wasn't sure it was the right place to air his dirty laundry with Zach, but this is where Zach wanted to meet. "Locus is a very... disciplined guy. He doesn't like being tricked or used."

"I didn't use him! He was the one who asked to kiss me."

"After you made it look like you were genuinely distressed that he had refused to let you."

"Okay you got me there, but seriously, he was still pissed when he left this morning." Felix laid his head in his hands.

"Give him time, apologize," Zach said, "Do you know when his lunch break is? Go see him then."

"I guess I could do that." Felix stood up and stretched, his back popped in three different places and he swore if he had to sleep on the floor again tonight he'd shoot himself with Locus's gun.

"Are you gonna go see him?" 

"I think I'm just gonna go home, get some sleep."

"You're not gonna apologize are you?" Zach groaned.

"I'm not entirely sure I'm at fault here." Felix said, saluting him as he spun on his heal and walked away. He had wanted to talk to Zach to confirm that Locus was just trying to start drama, not get told that he was in the wrong. What were friends for if not to make you feel better about fake crying to get laid?

He looked over his shoulder, this guy had been following him for a while now, he turned around to face him, sliding his hand into his jacket pocket in order to look casual while finding his pocket knife.

"You have a problem buddy?" He asked. The guy had bags under his eyes, greasy hair and acne scars. Felix couldn't say he looked any better at this point.

"Hey, you just looked a bit stressed," the guy said, taking a few steps forward with his hands stretched out in front of him. "Thought I might help you out."

"I'm not looking for a prostitute." Felix scoffed, pushing a strand of hair behind his ear.

"I'm not a creature of the night," This guy liked to talk in code, "I just wanted to know if you wanted something that could- help you see the stars if I may put it that way."

"I don't have any money."

"First hit's free."

"Let me correct myself, I don't have an interest in your wares." 

"I've seen you around a lot lately, ya' look like you can use some relaxin'." the pusher said, reaching into his jacket.

"Like I said, no, go hand that shit out at the playground." Felix said as he turned around.

"Suit yourself friend." the guy said. "I'll be seeing you around."


	4. Never in the wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how good this fic is anymore

"Did you go see Zach again?"

"Oh my god don't start on that again." Felix threw his head back and let out a deep sigh. "It's none of your business when I do or do not go and see Zach. He's our friend."

"You didn't go see him back when we were living at the motel," Locus said, throwing his bag into the corner and taking off his shirt. "You just recently started to go see him."

"It's called reconnecting, also we don't have a TV anymore, what am I suppose to do all day?"

"Find a job," Locus growled.

"You make it sound so easy, I tried going to work for the moving company, they wouldn't take me."

"You scared them, Felix, you always look like you wanna murder everyone in the room."

"I do!" Felix said, "I joined the army cause I liked killing stuff, do you think I did it because I knew my parents would disown me?"

"I know why you joined the army, believe me, I do, but this isn't the army. You can't walk around like you're going to murder everyone in a room if they look at you the wrong way! That why you don't have a job!" 

Felix growled under his breath, he really didn't wanna be lectured by Locus of all people, so what he wanted to kill people? It defiantly wasn't a normal urge and he knew that, and despite having zero help and no reason to not to, he had avoided killing anybody over the last year. 

"And what? You never wanna kill anybody?" The question hung in the air for a moment, Felix glared at Locus as he pulled a clean shirt on and sat down. "Tell me you've never thought about it once. You enjoyed killing too. That's the only time we got along."

"There's a difference between killing innocent people and aliens," Locus said quietly, but Felix wasn't quite convinced. he walked over to the corner of the room where Locus kept his stuff in a neat pile and sitting on top was his military grade sub-machine gun. He picked it up and looked over it. 

"How'd you get this then? By killing an alien?" he said, watching Locus's head dip as he stepped forward, "Or, did you buy this? I don't remember you buying this gun. In fact, I seem to remember you using this gun to kill one of our fellow soldiers and keeping it as a trophy."

"I didn't kill Clarke because I wanted to, he went mad," Locus said, "He tried to kill us."

"You didn't like him, remember? You could have tackled him to the ground, but you took pleasure in using his own gun to bring him down, didn't you?" Felix said, throwing the SAW at his feet so he could look at it. "And considering you just did it in self-defense, why the fuck did you keep the gun?"

"Because," Locus took a deep breath, "Because I get the same feeling when I shoot it as I got when I killed him." He reached out and grabbed it, wiping off dirt.

"You're no better then me, Locus," Felix spat.

Locus stood up and replace the gun with the rest of his stuff. "Don't go see Zach tomorrow."

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because, I don't want you to annoy him."

"Annoy him?!" Felix roared. "Not everyone is annoyed by me, Locus. If Zach doesn't want me around he'll tell me to fuck off, but he actually likes me and likes talking to me." 

"That sounds unlikely, who would want you around?" Locus said as he laid down. 

Felix was at a loss for words, he so often was and he often filled silences with unnecessary words to keep the ball in his court and always have the last laugh.

"My boyfriend for one!" Felix snapped.

"You're dating Zach?!" Locus turned around and glared at him. 

He felt like he just dug himself into a hole.

____________________

The lie went undetected for far longer then Felix would have given it credit. Locus seemed jealous and had been a lot nicer lately. They didn't fight as much and their little hole in the wall was a lot less stressful because of it. Locus had even been a little flirty and whenever he had been too forward Felix had been quick to shut him down with the "I have a boyfriend" line. 

Things were going better then expected until Felix walked in the Chinese restaurant and sat down to find Zach sitting there glaring at him.

"Did you tell Locus we were dating?"

Felix felt his heart stop. so maybe he should have told Zach about the lie involving him.

"I did."

"Because he came over here earlier trying to get me to dump you and I think he wanted to kill me, so thanks for that."

"Did you tell him we weren't?" Felix swallowed hard.

"Of course I fucking did, dude, I'm an aromantic asshat," Zach growled, "also I fucking told you to stop telling him lies in order to get him to like you! it isn't going to end well!" 

"Was he mad?"

Zach pointed at a hole in the wall next to the door. "Go apologize to him. Now!"

Felix left, but he didn't start walking towards the temp office and he didn't go to Locus's work. He didn't even go home. Locus was going to be pissed at him.

He spent most of the afternoon walking around the park trying to think about how he could fix this. The best course of action was to convince Locus that Zach was lying to him.

He finally started towards home, but he was stopped by a pleasant-looking woman with blond hair.

"You look pretty mean," she said, "how would you like to make a thousand bucks?"

"I'm not a prostitute!" He growled, she stuck a hand over his mouth.

"Be quiet, I'm not looking for sex, I have a proposition for you." she said, "have you ever killed anyone before?"

"I'm listening."  
____________________

Locus turned towards the doorway as Felix came running through, huffing and puffing with a giant smile on his face. Locus didn't want to see him, not after he made him think that- He shook his head. That was in the past now and he was smarter for it. He still couldn't stand the look of Felix's face.

"I just got a job!" he said breathlessly.

"Oh yeah? It doesn't have anything to do with telling the truth does it? Cause you're piss poor at that."

"Forget about our relationship for a minute, dude this can mean good things for us! Where are you going?!" Locus pushed past him and stopped in the doorway.

"I can't look at you right now." He said pushing through the curtain. Hr didn't really have anywhere to go or anyone to talk to, but he defiantly didn't want to be anywhere near Felix right now. Felix liked to play with his emotions and feelings in order to get what he wanted, mainly attention and flirting and Locus was enraged that he had let himself be fooled into being jealous. Of course Zach was aromantic, he had heard him mention it before. Why had he been so ready to believe Felix when he said they were dating?! How had he been so easily fooled into giving his attention.

He wouldn't make that mistake again, as far as he was concerned he and Felix were done romantically, it was strictly professional between the two of them for now on.


	5. The street names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gonna be moving soon guys! This is the last chapter before I do that and I'm not entirely sure when I'll be able to get back on but when I do I'm hoping to put out five new chapters in one day and then go back to posting every other morning.

Locus hated quitting time, it meant having to go back to the rat infested hole in the wall that was actively serving as the roof over he and his, for no better way to put it- partner's heads for the time being. The place was falling apart, leaking, cold most nights, and Felix had gone into a blind rage and broken a window a few days ago so the very little warmth they were generating with a barrel of burning newspapers in the corner was quickly getting sucked out. All this considered winter was hitting hard and Locus found it hard to keep his relationship with Felix strictly professional when they had to press their bodies together at night for warmth. This was, however, when Felix was there. He worked a lot of nights and often came home bruised up and needing repairs.

"What are you even doing?" Locus had demanded one night as he carefully stitched him up.

"You stormed out that night," Felix sneered, scratching an itch behind his ear that soon turned into the entire back of his neck. 

"If you're ever hurt I need to know where to come get you, you damn fool." Locus said pulling the thread tight and closing the stitch, "you're no good to me dead."

"Don't we-" Felix looked woozy for a second and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath before opening them again and returning to his sentence. "Don't worry about me, focus on yourself, that's all you care about anyway.- hey watch it," he snapped as Locus pressed his thumb into the wound he was cleaning. He rolled his eyes

Locus was worried about him. He was acting strange lately, staying out all night and then there was the question of his new job, that seemed to be bringing in very little money despite Felix's long hours. Locus let out a long breath. He had to clear his head of Felix if he was ever going to work towards independence. 

He shivered hard and rubbed his bare arms absently. It was payday, so maybe it was time to break down and buy a jacket, he also had to get something to fix that broken window and fix the draft that was coming in through the others. This would keep him away from home for a little while, he decided.

His first stop was the thrift shop, the lady at the counter smiled at him when he walked in and ducked out from behind the register to meet him by the coat rack. "Hey," she said flipping her hair and releasing the smell of tropical shampoo.

Her name was Wendy. She was always clean and smelled nice and treated Locus and Felix great considering they sometimes shoplifted from the place, she always looked the other way. She was sweet but tough with a few knee problems that made her hobble slightly when she walked. She was on the same "pay back greatly" list Zach was on.

"It's a big cold out to be wearing short sleeves?" he voice came out deeper than you would expect.

"I was hoping to fix that," Locus said looking at the coat rack. She smirked slightly and hobbled back behind the counter and brought up a small cardboard box. 

"We actually had a couple of coats come in, just you guys' sizes," she said in a chipper voice, "They had some holes in them so the manager said to throw them away, so I patched them up good as new and kept them around just in case you came by!" Locus was never too proud to take a handout. If people were willing to give him stuff he would otherwise have to pay for he would be thankful all day long.

He grunted a thank you as he slipped the coat on and tucked the other one against his body and zipped it up. Yes, Wendy would have to be thanked in a big way one of these days as well.  
____________________

Felix wasn't there when Locus got back, it wasn't abnormal these days, and at least he didn't have to see his sad dead eyes as soon as he walked in. That half dead glare that Felix gave him in the moment it took him to realize it was Locus standing there nearly killed him every time. The time between realization and a phony smile got longer every day by a fraction of a second.

In the army you're taught to take care of your squad no matter what, keep their hopes up and, if you can, get them home safely, and even though Felix was annoying and pushed his buttons, he was still part of his squad, and he was still in charge of getting him home safely, and right now he had no home and that was a failure on Locus's part.

Of course Felix couldn't get a good job, he was young, a high school dropout who couldn't legally tell his employers what he had been doing for the past four years- almost five now- because two of them had been spent in the army illegally and the last year or so he had been homeless. 

He promised not to abandon him, but the thought of leaving hit him once a day. It would be so easy, take the money he had managed to save and run, it would be easier with just him to take off to a town where Felix hadn't gotten them both banned from every single cheap motel. 

But even though he thought about it, how easy it would be, he instead duct taped cardboard over every window in their small hiding spot, stoked the fire in their metal barrel and did his best to sweep up the garbage that blew in from the street. This was his home for the time being after all.

____________________

Felix stumbled into the back room and swore he was in the wrong place. It was warm and dim and the floor was clean, but the sight of Locus, in his blurry tired vision, field stripping his SAW next to the only source of light, the burning barrel, cemented that this was where he was suppose to be. He staggered into the room, planted a hand on the wall to steady himself, laughing dryly when Locus looked up at him, and sat down on the bed, pulling with him the collar of the dog he had found.

"Felix what the fuck is that?" Locus let out a long dry sigh. 

"It's a dog, moron, how long have you been in the army?" he laughed patting the animal on the top of the head and scratching him behind the ear.

"I mean what are you doing with it?" Locus pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I found him, he's been hanging out around work so I thought I'd take him in." Felix laid back on the mattress and the dog, a brown mutt, crawled up beside him. Locus crossed the room in two steps and yanked the animal up and pushed him out the door. He thought Felix was going to fight him, but he just smiled and laughed and laid back. He was snoring within minutes and Locus went back to cleaning his gun  
____________________

Felix woke up the next morning, groggy and weak and starving. Locus's arm over his body weighed eight-hundred pounds and moving it made him want to just go back to sleep again, but he made the effort anyway and got up and walked over to the fire barrel to throw on some more newspaper, which had been sitting next to it to dry. Newspapers burned fast but they got the fire hot enough to throw on bits of wood and logs. His head was swimming, hung over from the day before, and he had to sit down in the only chair in the place, a broken lawn chair. He must have dosed off because the next thing he knew Locus was standing over him with a disgusted look on his face.

"What are you on?"

There was no reason, at least to Felix, to lie, "Lots of stuff."

"Name some."

"I only know the like, street names but its like, Angel something? Lots of brightly colored pills, I loose track." 

Locus gave him a death glare and snorted air out of his nose for thirty seconds before turning an leaving. Felix waved him farewell and fell back asleep in his lawn chair.


	6. One more lie and I'm gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey I'm back! expect four more chapters today!

One more lie. One more complication, that's all it would take for Locus to decide it was no longer his job to take care of Felix. Even in the army he had to leave people behind when shit got deep, and if Felix wanted to make shit deep, Locus wasn't going to stop him. He was an adult after all.  
An immature, selfish, self-destructive adult who had spent the last two years of high school in the army instead of making friends and learning about life and himself. No, instead he was with Locus learning how to kill with two bullets or less and feeding into his sick desire to kill. Locus felt like he had failed him there. He was supposed to keep his squad safe, get them all home at the end of the war. But most of his original squad was dead and what was left was him and Felix.

Felix who had been only sixteen, whom he fought so closely beside as if he was an extension of Locus's own self, and yet he failed to notice he was only sixteen at the time. The thought left a bad taste in his mouth.

____________________

The first time he met Felix was on the pelican ride to their training base. He was anxious and it was obvious to Locus now how young he had been, from the way his feet moved nervously to the way he skipped a beat when Locus had asked him his name.

"Felix McScouty!" He had said. The name sounded beyond fake now, but Locus had been too on edge to actually notice. "I'm eighteen." He added after a bit of a pause.

"I'm William Wallcook," Locus remembered saying as he extended his hand.

"Wallcook?" Felix laughed, "That sounds like Whale cock." They had their first fight after that, and it only got worse and more violent from there. They hardly got along at all. Still, Locus had been in the same sniper tower as Felix on their first mission, talking him through and promising him they'd make it while he cowered behind his scope and closed his eyes tight.

"You talk a big enough game, Felix, I know you can do it. Take out that target," Locus had said. 

Felix had been scared. He started to protest but stopped himself. His fingers shook as he squeezed the trigger, but the shot hit its mark, right between the alien's eyes. That had been the last time Locus ever saw fear or doubt in Felix's eyes and it all fell away the moment he pulled the trigger. The alien dropped dead and Felix formed a fist to punch the air. 

"I am fucking awesome," he celebrated in a voice hardly above a whisper.

If Locus had noticed before that shot, if he had noticed at all, maybe he wouldn't be going back to their hide out every night to find Felix strung out on something. Maybe he wouldn't have to stitch him up every night because of the job he refused to tell him about. Maybe then he wouldn't have failed his one mission- get everyone home safely.

But he had and he was going to live with that. And he had to come to the harsh reality that this wasn't the army, this was life. He didn't kill aliens anymore, he worked for a moving company making minimum wage and hardly getting by. There were no more missions, only tomorrow and the day after that.

And that was almost worse.  
____________________

"Locus! You're Late!" 

"You're sober," Locus said off-handedly.

"I haven't been into work yet," Felix rolled his eyes, "I took the late shift so I could finally show you what I do."

Locus sat down beside the fire barrel to warm up. He didn't want to ever move again. "Felix, I'm very tired," Locus said. "I have tomorrow off, show me then."

"Natalie said I could only get you in tonight," Felix whined. "It's a big night, nobody is gonna notice you don't belong there."  
"Belong where, Felix? You still haven't told me what you do." Locus groaned. Felix's soft brown eyes pleaded him.

"Just come with me, I promise it's worth it."  
____________________

Despite his protests Locus found himself in the seediest part of town with Felix dragging him through alleys and down roads with no street lights. He still couldn't get an answer about where they were going and Locus was starting to worry they would be mugged before they even arrived

When they finally ducked into a -seemingly- abandoned store front Locus again tried to ask where in the hell they were, but Felix hushed him.

"This place is members only," he said under his breath, almost in a whisper. It was thrilling to find Felix was capable of whispering. "Like I said, Nat said you could be here cause it's going to be busy, but if anyone finds out you're down there for free, just because you know me, she'll have a lot of angry customers on her hands."

"Why's that?"

"These people pay good money to get down there and to make sure there isn't an average Joe in the place with them." Felix checked his watch before pushing Locus into a dark room, finding a keypad in the dark, and pushing him through another door into what seemed like a rowdy bar. But it was only briefly on the way to a small dimly lit bathroom.

"Felix, are you a stripper?" Locus asked and Felix laughed hard out of his nose.

"Trust me, none of these guys could pay me enough to get naked here." He shook his head. "Prizefighting." Felix said at last. "Like two guys enter one guy leaves sort of stuff."

"To the death?"

"No, not usually," Felix admitted. "I thought it would sound cooler if I said it that way."

"This is very illegal." Locus said, almost amused.

"My happy place is on the outside of the law, Locus," Felix said, "I've been making small cash up til now, but I could changed that tonight. I have the chance to win big tonight." He smiled wide, "If I do well tonight then by tomorrow we could be out of that rathole and into a place with actual heat."

Locus couldn't say anything, Felix was great at hand to hand combat, it was his specialty. He had fun with it and liked to make a show of it, Locus could only imagine what Felix did to his opponent with people cheering him on and looking for an interesting fight. It only made sense that he had gotten into prizefighting. And if he was going to start making as much money as he was suggesting it defiantly made up for patching him up all those times.

"Enjoy the show, and if anyone tries heckling you, which I highly doubt because tonight is the championships, just ignore it. Usually they'll leave you alone if you act like you're above them."

"I can handle myself, Felix," Locus reminded him sharply. "If you're so worried about me why did you bring me along. You could have just told me what you were doing and that could have been the end of it."

"I figured it was about time I let you into this part of my life," Felix bit his lip. "Me lying about dating Zach? Probably a dick move. Crying to get you to choke me against the wall? That probably wasn't very cool either- even though you totally enjoyed it too." Locus shot him a glare. "Fine, I was in the wrong. Forgive me?"

"I guess I can. If you win tonight."


	7. The Lie, I'm gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but hey, there's a lot of chapters today

The bottle missed Felix's head by just inches, Locus's rage must have been throwing off his aim cause he was aiming for the middle of his forehead.

"That could have really hurt me asshole!" Felix snapped.

"Why didn't it?!" Locus roared. "I wanted it to!"

"Don't be a dick I was trying to be honest with you!" Felix protested.

"You lied to me about having thousands of dollars in your pocket while we were eating garbage! Why would you do that?!" Felix opened his mouth to speak, but Locus cut him off. "Oh yeah, its that little drug problem of yours!"

"It's actually a huge problem!" Felix said, his voice strained. " I came to you for help!"

"Do you understand we could have been actually surviving on the 'small' cash you were making on fights?!" Locus stretched out his arms. "This apartment you love so much could have been ours months ago!"

"I know! Locus- I-" Felix broke down. This wasn't supposed to be hard. This was supposed to be the easiest part. "I have a problem, I'm admitting it and asking for help. Isn't that worth anything?"

"It's worth jack-shit." Locus growled.

"Why don't you want to help me?" Felix whimpered.

"I'm not sure you need help," Locus snapped. "Not any I could give you anyway." He started shoving his belongings into a duffle bag in a fit of blind anger. "You've been lying to me and manipulating me for two years. Why should I believe you now?"

The question caught Felix off guard. He should have known better than to come clean about the money. He should have waited until he knew Locus would understand that he wasn't in his right mind while doing it. Locus waited with one hand on the door for Felix's answer. If there was any saving this it was in his next few words. But he couldn't think of a single one that would make sense. Every lie he had told in the last few years pulsed in his ears and the worse part was that Locus wasn't even aware of all of them. It was brought to his attention that he just might be the biggest douche in the universe.

"I Love you, Locus." The words slipped out before he could catch them and the look on Locus's face told him he should have tried harder.

"When are you going to stop lying so you don't have to be alone, Felix?" Locus asked pulling the door shut behind him as he left. Felix watched the spot he had been standing in as if he hadn't left.

"That's the one thing I never lied about, Locus, is how much you mean to me."


	8. The Jobs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly these chapters all felt a lot longer when i was writing them. sorry.
> 
> You also now realize that ZAch was only in this fic so Felix had someone to interact with when Locus left.

Locus hadn't been gone a day before Felix had been approached at work by a small bald man he recognized as a high bidder, and often loser, known as Bill.

"What do you want and autograph or something?" He was drunk and stoned and tired and the joke came out sounding like a threat.

"Your work in the ring is very impressive, Mr. McScouty," Bill said, nervously rubbing his hands together.

"I don't actually sign autographs," Felix snapped as he finished his whiskey.

"Oh, I don't need you to sign anything," he said seeming to gain some confidence. "I was sort of hoping you'd be interested in killing my wife.  
____________________

Taking out Bill's wife while he was conveniently out of town was easy, and it paid a good deal of money. Most of which Felix used to keep himself high for days at a time. He was king for a day every day for an entire week and when the crash hit he almost killed himself. He wasn't sure what kept him from putting a bullet through his own head but something did.

Where Locus had gone he tried not to think about. His life was doing okay without him and he even seemed to be started down a new and interesting career path in the way of killing the spouses of wealthy people. He didn't need him and he didn't need to get clean either. He was going to be fine and ride this self destructive train to an early grave.

He had said some things that night that he realized now weren't true and he was almost glad Locus had left or else he wouldn't have realized it. He didn't want to change, he didn't want to get clean, and most importantly he didn't love Locus and didn't need him in his life. The only thing Felix wanted to worry about was himself and his money, and not even necessarily in that order. He rather be dead then penniless ever again. Being poor had been the worse thing to ever happen to him. And for the record he was counting the worse battle he ever fought during his time with the UNSC.

You idiot. he told himself, that's because at the end of that battle you still had Locus. You survived poverty but hell, where is he now.

He shook the thought out of his head and hoped the other people at the bar didn't notice his sporadic head movement. He was thinking about him again. Brandon would have something for that.

He was getting ready to leave the bar, finishing his last drink for the night, when a tall blond woman sat down beside him at the bar. She smiled sweetly as she wrapped her long tan hands around his hand.

"You're Felix, correct?" She asked kindly in a smooth southern accent that sounded well practiced.

"What's it to you?" His temper was short and his blood- alcohol level was high. 

"I'm, a big fan of your work." The K hit so hard Felix nearly flinched.

"I'm gay," he said dryly trying to end this conversation.

"And I'm not interested in getting in bed with you," she said as though he was beneath her.

"You really shouldn't get offended that I assumed that, what with you touching me like this," He said as he pulled his fingers away and wrapped them around his glass.

"Do you often sit around drinking after being cut up like that in the ring?" she asked pointing at the gash on his arm that he had been putting off dealing with.

"It dulls the pain," He answered. "Did you need something, lady? Cause I was just getting ready to leave."

"I did, but I can't talk to you with you bleeding all over everything like this. Plus, this information is sort of sensitive." She said, "Why don't I bring you back to my place? I'll patch you up and we can talk."

Felix agreed only because he was sure he needed stitches and his patchwork was piss poor. He never had to learn cause he always had Locus around to do it for him. The other reason he agreed was because from the way she was talking he was about to get another hit job.  
____________________

She drove him back to her home, Lilly was her name and she really was a sweetheart. She was also surprisingly okay with his arm bleeding through the quick wrapping he had done before leaving the bar.

"It'll wash out," she had told him when he grumbled an apology. They pulled into a driveway that didn't seem to match the extravagant gown and jewelry she was wearing. The house wasn't big, it was average sized while being closer to the small side of things. It defiantly didn't match the high profile life style of the average fight club member and he was about to ask if she was simply dating another member, but she didn't let him.

"It's not my house." She said quickly as she hurried to get him to the doorstep and knock a few times.

"Is it your secret lover's house?" Felix laughed, it could have been a joke but he was being serious.

"Yes," Lilly was starting to sound agitated, "Do you ever shut up?"

"Probably not." He laughed. That was his last one, he didn't want to lose this job due to being noisy.

There was a bewildered look on the face of the guy who answered the door. He was Felix's age or younger, but Lilly was definitely much older then the both of them and that left him with one question he didn't care to ask. Age was just a number and you don't pay random prize fighters to kill people if you have everything going for you .

"Lilly, who is this guy?" He asked while she searched the kitchen for the first aid kit.

"A hitman." she answered.

"Hit man?" Felix asked.

"You killed Bill's wife didn't you?" She asked as she sat down to clean his wound.

"Well yeah," he scoffed, "But hit man makes me sound like some sort of super hero who kills people."

"Gun for hire, then?" Lilly offered.

"I don't use a gun. I use a knife."

"What does it matter?" the guy said.

"Don't piss off the guy who kills people for money, Ross." Lilly said.

"That doesn't roll off the tongue like it should, don't you think?" Felix said trying to keep the mood light. "So. Who is it I have to kill? Your husband I'm guessing?"

"Yes," she didn't offer any more information then she had to. Felix respected that. She went into great detail about how to do it, which room to leave him in and which weapon to use. She handed him a knife in a bag that she had planted fingerprints on and suggested he wear gloves. "Do you think you could do that?"

She had slide a paper across the table with a number on it. Felix was still impressed by the number of zeros. "Yeah, a standard frame job," he said. "Done it a million times." He tacked on the lie at the last minute. He was good at killing and had been doing it for years, but he wanted to be sure Lilly could trust him and if she knew this was only his second job she might have some doubts. "I'm going to need a get away driver if you want me to set off the alarm though. And I don't share nice."

"I'll match your driver with your pay, I have the money and I stand to gain a lot more when I take over my husband's company. I want it done in two days at eight o'clock."

"I want my money in the bank before I get in the car to leave. Me and my guy's."

"It will be. But I don't want a penny of it touched until you kill the bastard."

"That seems reasonable."

____________________

The job was a lot easier then Felix had made it sound. All Zach had to do was keep a look out and keep the car running. It was the easiest money he had ever made and he couldn't wait to tell his boss to shove it tomorrow, right before his shift started so he had trouble finding a replacement for him. Revenge was sweet. He almost high-fived Felix when he got in the car but he had to drive. Felix looked tired and had been on edge all night. He had bags under his eyes and Zach was sure he hadn't slept the night before.

"Okay, but seriously, I haven't seen you in months, then you come around, offer me a lot of money to play look out, and won't tell me where Locus is? What's the deal?"

"You could say thank you for the job," Felix muttered. "Locus is gone. I don't know where he is and I don't care."

"What happened between the two of you? You used to be inseparable."

"People change. I don't want to talk about it." Felix looked out the window. "The past is the past and he's gone, let it go."

"But why is he gone?" Zach demanded, "He was my friend too, I sort of have a right to know."

"If he cared about you he would have told you where he went. But he didn't and that shows how much he likes you." 

"Fine, I'll drop it. I just find it weird that he'd leave you if he loved you so much."

"Locus never cared about me," Felix said sharply. "I don't even know why he hung around so long." The car was silent, the only noise was the sound of the tires on the concrete and the occasional click of the engine.

Zach thought about telling him about the morning Locus came to see him, asking him to dump Felix, almost threatening him. Before he told him the truth, that they weren't dating, he was sure he was going to get his ass beat. That's how Locus cared, with brutality. Zach had been sure Locus loved Felix, and he knew for certain Felix loved him back. That's all he had talked about when he had been in the habit of visiting him. How to get Locus to kiss him, to fuck him, to hold him while they slept. The thought that something had happened to them to drive them apart was astonishing to him, not when they both had a high tolerance for the other's bull shit.

But that still left the question of whether or not he should tell him just how much Locus had cared. There was no clear answer either way. On one hand it might cheer him up a bit, on the other it might depress him to think that even though Locus cared he would still leave. Would it make him change? Would he try to go find him again?

"I thought he was going to kill me." Zach said finally.

"Who?" Felix didn't look away from the window.

"Locus. When he thought we were dating, I thought he was going to kill me."  
____________________

Felix didn't look up from the window while Zach was talking. "He wouldn't have killed you," he said, his voice a low tired sigh. "He didn't care enough to do something like that."

Locus had been pissed when he thought they were dating, and he had opened up a little more when he thought he might loose Felix. He had been in love back then and it was Felix's own fault for driving him away. Every lie he told that's what he was doing, driving him off. The time he faked crying to get him to kiss him should have been the last time he ever tried anything like that. Locus was pissed enough as it was when he figured it out. Why he kept trying to trick him after that was completely beyond him.

The car was silent now. Zach was finally done talking. Good, he thought, Cause I'm done listening.


	9. Sleep Talking

Locus pulled the box up onto the back of the truck with him, letting out a sharp breath as he pulled it towards the rest.

"You don't always have to do things by yourself." Locus looked up as his coworker, Dallas, climbed up and helped him lift the heavy box on top of the rest. He muttered a brief thanks and jumped off the back of the truck and walked towards the house for one last look before leaving, but Dallas stopped him. "Already did the last walk through, the house is empty and locked up." He said as he pulled the door down and locked it.

Locus just nodded and got into the driver's seat of the truck with Dallas sitting in the passenger seat. He started the truck without saying a word and punched in the address for the new house a few states over. They had a day and a half of driving ahead of them, but they could only do eight of it tonight before having to take a break. Dallas would want to take over in four hours. Locus usually caved in after five.

"And everyone says you're hard to work with." Dallas said as he pulled out of the driveway. "What's with that?"

"Everyone else is lazy and likes to take more breaks than we have time for."

"Well, not everyone has your stamina, man. And by the way, it's pretty impressive, what were you in the army or something?"

"What makes you ask that?"

"The dog tags on the mirror." He pointed at them, gleaming in the low light of the fading afternoon. If he cared to look closely he'd see that Locus's name wasn't on them. They read "Felix McScouty" instead because they were Felix's tags. Felix had his. They traded them back during basic when they figured out just how well they worked together.

"They're not mine." Locus said without elaborating. He never got partnered with the same person twice in a row, hardly anybody like working with him because he worked too hard and pushed them to work harder than they should in all fairness. But Locus didn't want to have to drive back and forth again to get anything they missed and he definitely didn't want his pay docked for not getting there on time.

"So what kind of shitty home life do you have that makes you wanna drive a moving truck cross-country?" Locus wouldn't call the five states they serviced "cross country" but he didn't care to correct him.

"None." he answered truthfully.

"No wife or girlfriend or anything?" Locus shook his head. "Not even a dog?" he shook his head again. "That's rough buddy.

"Why are you still talking?" Locus snapped.

"It's a long drive and the radio's busted, I'm just trying to pass the time." Dallas said defensively but finally stopped talking and settled into his seat looking out the window. Locus breathed a sigh of relief.

After another hour or so Dallas turned back around. "Help me settle a bet will you?"

"What?" Locus said, too tired to fight.

"Who's Felix?" The name snapped him back to reality and he sat up straight and looked at Dallas. "So he is someone then?" Dallas asked intrigued. His green eyes widened in excitement.

"Where did you hear that name?" Locus asked, stunned.

"Some of the other guys talk about you saying that name while you sleep. They've all betted on who he is, the winner is the one who actually gets the info out of you.

"You're the first person to say anything."

"Everyone else is scared to." 

"He's an old friend, almost lover, who couldn't stop lying to save his life." He hadn't talked about Felix in months, but he never stopped thinking about him. "It was a toxic relationship, so I ended it and here I am. Happy?"

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"Good. Now shut up."


	10. The Ghost of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so, the last chapter for today yay! have fun kiddos.
> 
> Also note that I didn't have internet at the time of writing this so maybe some of it is greatly inaccurate to actual addict behaviour, but i did try to be accurate to the best of my knowledge and not make any of what Felix is going through a joke, cause it's not funny. 
> 
> that it with a grain of salt and enjoy

He started seeing Locus about a month after his second hit job. It started as a shadow out the corner of his eye too big to be his own and slowly grew into an almost recognizable face. As the weeks went on it became normal, at least to Felix in his drained mental state, to see him hanging around the apartment, doing the things he normally did only silently and making no progress in them.

The hallucinations usually ranged from a few seconds to a minute in length, but at times Felix could stare for hours, or what felt like it to him, watching as Locus made no process cleaning his gun.

They almost always went away when he spoke, or when they went away he started talking. He couldn't tell anymore, but if it was the former, he had no clue what it meant. He usually talked to himself softly, or loudly depending, or stayed as quiet as possible to try to control them. It didn't work either way and he still saw him. He wasn't sure if he was seeing anything else that wasn't really there, everything seemed normal to him besides Locus being there. Locus couldn't have been there because he had driven him away and he hated him now.

"Why couldn't you love me?" he asked the vision when it appeared one day. Fake Locus didn't look up. "What did I do wrong and why couldn't you love me?" His voice was a high whine, but he was only talking to the walls and they didn't care what he sounded like.  
____________________

Zach visited sometimes, made sure Felix's bills went out on time, cleaned up a bit, sometimes helped him with hit jobs when he had them. Mainly though he thought that if he could make Felix feel like he wasn't alone he could at least slow down his spiral into madness.

"You need to make up with Locus." He said on one of Felix's few coherent days. Locus had to be the cause of at least some of this destructive behavior. Felix laughed at him.

"Don't try to tell me what to do," he said, staring at the ceiling as he laid on the couch. "I don't even know where he is. And let me remind you, I don't really care."

"Then get the fuck over him, get into rehab, and get better. I can't take care of you for the rest of your life."

"I really don't want to do that and I definitely never asked you to take care of me."

"Why the fuck not? And somebody has to."

"I'm having too much fun." Felix rolled over to look at Zach. "I'm over Locus. In fact, I was never not over him. You need to stop trying to be my mom."

"The last time I was over here I tried to get you to go to bed and you cried for an hour cause you 'can't sleep without him.'" Zach snapped. "And you still keep his dog tags around your neck at all times. You're wearing them now."

"That was a bad trip, and I'm only keeping them because we traded them as army buddies." Felix paused for a second and grabbed the chain around his neck. "Do you think he kept mine? You don't think he threw them away do you?"

"No, Felix, I don't think he threw your dog tags away."

"Are you just saying that so I won't start crying again?"

"Are you going to start crying again?" Felix took a deep breath. He was about to start a new conversation, he often did when he didn't have anything else to add to the current one. "Have I told you why Locus left yet?" He started. "I don't remember."

"You haven't," Zach assured him, his interest peaked. 

"It's because when I started doing prize fights I was spending a lot of money on drugs and hiding the rest," Felix laid back and rested his arm over his eyes, "We were still homeless at the time, eating garbage and sleeping in that old warehouse. Don't tell me it was a dick move because I already know."

"Felix, that was a dick move."

"I'm not in a good place, Zach, don't tell me shit I already know," Felix sighed. "Once we got this place and things settled down I tried to tell him, about the money, about how bad my addiction got, but he focused hard on the money."

"I can't tell you if he was right for leaving or not if that's why you're telling me this," Zach told him. "That's something he has to figure out on his own, but something you need to figure out is if you blame him for leaving."

"Zach?"

"Yeah?"

"I think it would be best if you stopped coming by."  
____________________  
Locus heard a knock on the door. He never got visitors, ever. Mostly because he was never home with the rest being due to the fact that he didn't have any friends and never gave his coworkers a reason to come over. Deciding that he didn't have any reason not to he answered it, maybe they were lost.

"Zach?" he asked in bewilderment.

"Yeah, it's me, can I come in?" He asked, tapping his foot impatiently. Locus took a step to the side so he could walk past him. His mind was racing with how and why Zach was standing in his living room right now.

"If you ever cared about Felix you'd come home with me right now."

"How did you find me, Zach?" Locus asked in bewilderment.

"How many people do you think go by the name Locus in America? You stick out like a sore thumb it took my private investigator like three days to find you."

"How can you afford a private investigator?" Locus had more questions than answers at this point.

"I've been helping Felix with stuff," Zach raised a hand before Locus could ask another question. "Look I can answer all your questions on the way back. We need to get going it could-"

"I'm not going back. I'm so happy to be away from Felix you don't understand."

"You don't understand that he needs you!"

"Felix needs to get his shit together!" Locus said taking a violent step towards Zach, he flinched and took a few steps back.

"Locus, if you don't come back I think he's gonna kill himself. He's gotten worse since- because you left. He hardly eats he doesn't sleep- and he won't let me come by the apartment anymore either. This is your fault and you have to fix it!"

"How is this my fault?! His self destructive behavior is why I left in the first place!"

"You left because he hid money and lied to you. He hid the money because he is addicted to drugs, he's addicted to drugs because you kept pushing him away."

"I only 'pushed him away' because he kept lying to me and trying to manipulate me."

"Normal people talk that stuff out, well I mean you aren't normal people, but you're both still capable of sitting down and talking things out. Sharing your feelings. They don't become cold and emotionally distant and leave the other high and dry and not sure why they're alone!" Zach said, poking a finger into Locus's chest, "Felix loves you, he's also pretty fucked up. He needs you to tell him when he's crossed a line. Hell a lot of people do how is this news to you?" Zach composed himself. "The drugs, the money, the lying-It's all a cry for help and you leaving is not helping."

"Then you help him."

"He doesn't want my help. He wants yours," Zach took a deep breath. "Was there ever a part of you that loved him?"

"I did, but I wanted to take things slow and he wanted to move too quickly." Locus sat down.

"Did you ever sit him down and tell him that? Without getting mad or throwing stuff?"

"No. I didn't."

"Okay now look at this from Felix's point of view: you kept getting pissed off when he tried to be romantic, so he told you stuff to make you not get pissed off when he tried to get romantic. It was still a dick move, but don't you see where he's coming from? He was under a lot of stress and you weren't giving him any hints so he improvised. And when improvising didn't work and you just got madder it stressed him out even more and that's when he started doing drugs."

"I'm an asshole." Locus realized.

"You're both assholes and you deserve each other." Zach said. "Now are you coming or not? I left the meter running."  
____________________

Locus stood outside of Felix's apartment, his knuckle only inches from knocking and his heart pounding hard in his chest.

"He's not going to want to see me." He told Zach.

"I'll actually be surprised if he's coherent enough to recognize you."

"Then why am I here?"

"Because you're the only other person who care enough about him to help me get him sober again."

"Why do you even care?" Locus asked sharply.

"Because I've been getting a lot of money every time he asks me for a favor and if he's gone then that stops and I have to go back to working for that hell hole of a Chinese restaurant," Zach said. "Now knock on the door, if he doesn't answer I have a key. The landlord said he hasn't left in a few days and that's very worrisome."

"Why are we even going to bother knocking then?"

"In case he isn't high. It's sort of a crime to make a copy of someone's key without their knowledge and walk in unannounced. I don't wanna be arrested."

"You help him kill people."

"And I don't wanna be arrested for that either, doofus."

Locus sighed hard and knocked. No answer. He knocked again, harder this time and heard movement followed by some gibberish spoken above normal speaking voice. Zach pushed past him without saying a word and opened the door. The apartment was a mess and from the sight of syringes and broken bottles on the ground it would be more dangerous then polite to take his shoes off.

He scanned the piles of trash for something, a pizza box, a take out container, any sign that he had actually been eating but all he found was paper and boxes and bloody bandages. 

Zach had stepped further in and instructed Locus to close the door. "Felix, buddy, ya home?" he called.

"Fuck off, I told you not to come around here anymore." Felix called from somewhere else in the apartment.

"Have you left since you told me that? It's been a few weeks, man." His voice was low and he was trying hard not to sound like he was talking down to him.

"Why would I need to?" Felix asked coming around the corner. He had bags under his eyes and was almost bone thin, it brought up a feeling of dread in Locus to see him like that.

"You need fresh air, man," Zach reminded him. Felix's eyes flicked up to Locus and back down to Zach, "Have you eaten anything?"

"Fuck you, go away."

"We're not leaving, Felix, we came here to help you. You have to get sober man you're killing yourself."

"We?" Felix spat the word.

"Me and Locus," Zach said not seeming to share Locus's confusion. "Don't you see him? He's by the door."

"I see him all the time, he's not real."

"Felix-" Locus started. Felix's eyes drifted over to him and widened further then they already were. Was that fear? Doubt? He hadn't seen that expression on Felix in a very long time. "Felix, I'm right here." Locus assured him. He took a few steps forward when Felix didn't believe him. He offered him his hand to touch. Felix lifted one hand, unsure, afraid of being disappointed by a hallucination. He touched him, softly at first but then grabbed his hand.

"You left." Felix said.

"I'm sorry, I'm back now," Locus responded.

"Yeah, you are." Felix punched him in the jaw, too weak to actually do any damage, but Locus got the picture. "Don't take off like that again asshole!"


	11. History

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys since I know addiction and recovery is a touchy topic I purposefully didn't try to get too detailed about Felix's detox in this chapter. Also its really hard to find ref for this stuff? Anyway, enjoy the chapter and if you can't just skip it, the next few chapters aren't going to focus anymore on drugs

The number one priority right now was getting Felix to agree to get clean, or at the very least get him to take a nap. Locus had been foolish in thinking that by just showing up Felix would suddenly want to get better. He had been dangerously wrong. Felix wouldn't want to get better as long as he was holding on to the same ill feelings that made him start using in the first place.

Unfortunately while he was okay with trying to talk these things out he was not okay with leaving his apartment or talking to a therapist about any of it.

"These things are personal," Felix said, "I don't want a shrink trying to psychoanalyze me. I'm criminally insane and not all of it has to do with my addiction."

"Then who would you consider talking to about it?" Zach asked.

"Locus."

"Why me?" Locus asked.

"Because it has a lot to do with our relationship, idiot." Felix rolled his eyes so hard they almost fell out of his skull. 

"Zach why don't you go home for a bit?" Locus prompted.

Zach gave them one last look and nodded. "Call me if you need me, guys." He said before walking out. The room was quiet for a long time after the door was closed, both waiting for the other to say something and break the tension.

Felix finally did, "I didn't think you'd agree." He sat down on the couch. Locus sat on the other end and sighed hard.

"I'm not going to pretend I handled everything the right way, but there are some things that we need to talk about. And a lot of it is stuff we should have talked about a long time ago."

"Locus, I missed you a lot. When I was in the right mind to anyway. Things have been really hard the last few months without you. I think I broke my arm a week ago. It still feels a bit fucked up. But you weren't here to look at it so I pretended nothing happened." Locus picked his arm up softly and started looking at it.

"I missed you too Felix," He said. "I shouldn't have left." He pressed down gently on a bump near his elbow. Felix flinched.

He bit his lip and shook his head, watching Locus's hands examine him." No. You had every right to go. Maybe I was handling shit poorly, like I always do, but you had every right to leave- hey watch it." Locus had bent his arm at the elbow.

"Don't be a baby," Locus sighed. "I can't be sure if I blame myself for leaving or not Felix. Part of me says that of course I should have left. You're no good for me and your self-destructive ways aren't my fault. Another part of me says I should have never let things go as far as they did when I was here." He stood up and went to the kitchen where Felix hadn't moved the first aid kit from in weeks and sat back down. "Another part of me still says I shouldn't have ever left. At least not the way I did anyway."

"Locus, I've known you for a long, long time."

"Six years."

"I should have known better then to try lying to you, hell, I did know better but I did it anyway. I can't blame the drugs or the alcohol for that."

"I shouldn't have been surprised. I had every right to be angry, but I have known you for a long time, I shouldn't have been surprised and I really should have talked about it with you." Locus said as he wrapped a bandage tightly around Felix's arm. 

"Is it broken?" he asked.

"I think so, we might have to break it again and reset it, like the last time." Felix's arm flinched out of Locus's lap and he put on hand on the bandaged part.

"I hated that."

"You refused to go to the hospital, it didn't have to hurt as much as it did, but you refused to get help."

"I hate doctors," Felix said distastefully.

"I'm a doctor," Locus said defensively.

"You're not a real doctor, you just shadowed the medic for a year. You can patch people up, but you couldn't do open heart surgery." Felix pushed him with his good arm. "Besides, I hate you too." Felix laughed a bit and leaned into Locus's shoulder. "But seriously. I thought we had something at one point. I told some lies to get things moving. I shouldn't have done that. I should just accept that you don't like me like that and move on."

"Felix, I do have feelings for you," Locus said, "I just wanted to take things slowly, wait for the right time."

"The right time?" Felix asked.

"Yes, when we had jobs and money and a real place to live. The army wasn't the right place either. That's why I kept you at arms length all those years."

"You could have told me," Felix said. "Given me some sort of clue that you weren't ready. I would have backed off. Cause for me any time that we're together is the right time and it was hard for me to think of why you wouldn't want to go for it as long as we had each other." He rubbed his neck, trying to get the knot out of it. "I could have opened up to you about how I was feeling, though. It's a two-way street."

"We both mad mistakes, Felix," Locus gave him a side hug, "What's important now is getting on the same level and you getting better."

"Why?" Felix asked as he slowly brought his arms around Locus's waist.

"Because I love you and I don't want to see you kill yourself."

"I think that's all I needed to hear."

"No, it's not," Locus said sternly, "you'll need a lot of help. But I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere."  
____________________

"Eat something."

"Fuck you, my stomach hurts."

"It's called being hungry," Locus reminded him. "Everything is going to hurt for a while, but when it's over you'll be back to normal again."

"How long? Are you lying to me?"

Locus handed him the hamburger. "Your stomach will stop hurting when you eat it, I'm not lying to you. I don't know how long it'll be, but it's going to be a few days until it's all out of your system."

"If it'll make-" Felix yawned, a good sign, "If it'll make you shut up I'll eat it after I take a nap, okay?"

"Eat it before you go to sleep so you don't wake up hungry," Locus told him. Felix had been doing a lot of sleeping lately, which was to be expected and also a really good sign. His only problem had been convincing him to eat and it was worrying him. sleeping and keeping him hydrated were easy, but not being able to get him to eat anything was so worrisome it almost canceled the other two out.

Felix gave the burger one last quizzical look then grunted and rolled over on the couch and fell asleep in two short breaths. Locus turned to Zach, sitting in a chair on the other side of the room huddled next to a dim lamp and a pile of medical books.

"Anything?" He pressed.

"From what I've been able to gather not eating is probably more of a mental hang up then a physical one," Zach lowered the book. "We're doing everything right and so far he hasn't tried to go back on it. He really wants to get better and I give him mad props for that." He shrugged. "I'm also not a doctor."

"It definitely feels like I could be doing a lot more." Locus said, placing several bottles of water on the table beside the couch for when Felix woke up.

"You got him out of his apartment, that's huge, he's in a place where there definitely aren't any drugs hidden around, and by the way thanks for making that my house. You're also getting his apartment cleaned out and haven't taken your eye off him yet- as far as I know you're doing everything you can for him," Zach shrugged. "I'm also not a doctor."

"You keep saying that."

"It remains true. " Zach said. "I have no clue what I'm talking about and I'm really just regurgitating what I've read in these self help books I got from the library. You're the closest thing to a doctor we have here and really? You're just a medic. He'd be doing better with real doctors around but the last time he suggested that he threw my grandmother's urn."

"Sorry about that again."

"It's fine, it's not like it's gonna break or anything, I grew up in a house full of kids do you think Dad would have put Nana in something that couldn't stand a few tosses?" Zach straightened his back. "Anyway, if he gets any worse we'll have to drag him to a hospital whether he likes it or not." 

"I know." Locus said, his eyes had trailed back to Felix's sleeping form. He didn't look comfortable there, why wouldn't he sleep on a bed? The easy answer was that Zach didn't have a bed, he had another futon in his bedroom, a smaller version of his living room. "Let's just try and keep this between us for now." He said, coming back to the conversation in what he hoped was a timely manner.

"No problem, Locs," Zach said dismissively, going back to his books. Maybe because he was genuinely interested in learning about this stuff and maybe because he was really bored. Locus wasn't interested in starting another conversation with Zach so soon after the last one ended, not that they went on forever, but because Zach wasn't smart and didn't have a lot to say about anything and was shit at small talk.

Felix stirred and Locus looked up, trying to keep himself from looking too eager. "Locus, buddy," Felix said softly, "William, gimme that burger." He yawned and rolled over as Locus handed him the burger.

"I'll forgive you this one time for that." Locus said, smiling a bit.

"Don't give me that look. I was trying to annoy you. Stop acting like I'm dying." Felix shot bits of food out of his mouth, seeming to have forgotten how to swallow before opening his mouth. 

"Then shut your trap." Locus growled.


	12. Moving on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts a more domestic Locus/Felix relationship that's probably not going to last

The slow creep of consciousness came with the sudden realization that he was warm. Very, very, warm. Hot almost but not quite. Felix tried pushing his blanket off but there was a heavy weight on top of it and he couldn't move it no matter how hard he pushed at it.

"Are you okay?" Felix finally opened his eyes and realized the weight was Locus's arm and the warmth was his body heat, which he was still getting used to again. "Felix, are you okay?" Locus asked again, impatiently.

"Yeah I'm fine. Don't worry." Felix sat up and stretched. He looked around the room, he was still getting used to the new place. Locus refused to move back into the apartment, even after it had been completely cleaned out and everything replaced. It didn't make a difference to Felix, though he had fought to keep the place, because shortly afterwards he got another hit job and it came with enough money to outright buy a new place on the outskirts of town. It had felt good to have Locus as his sniper again, although Zach was annoyed to be back in the position of the driver. 

"Did you have a bad dream?" Locus asked.

"No. I'm fine. Just some wake-up jitters. It happens from time to time," Felix told him. Locus seemed satisfied and settled back into the bed. Felix laid beside him, one arm wrapped around his shoulders, tracing patterns on his stomach with the opposite hand. He sighed contently, hoping that if he made Locus uncomfortable that he would say something, he usually did, but lately less and less had been making him uncomfortable and Felix had been slowly pushing his boundaries. The progression of their relationship was slow, but it was moving and that's all Felix could ask for. 

He dared something new, watching Locus's eyes flutter closed again for a few more minutes of shut-eye before he got up and went to work. "Why don't you stay home today?" He asked. Locus didn't open his eyes before responding.

"I have to go to work," he grumbled, but the tiredness in his voice when he said it suggested he rather not.

"You don't have to do anything," Felix said, his bold nature taking over, "The paycheck you get is hardly worth over forty-eight hours of work every week."

"We have a mortgage." Locus reminded him.

"We paid cash for this place." Felix countered.

"Yes, but to everyone else at least, we have to pretend we do, this is a brand new house, there's no reason we should be able to afford it when I work at a moving company and you don't seem to have a job at all."

"Who are we keeping up appearances for? Nobody knows us enough to question where our money comes from. One of us could be the heir to some big business or something. Who cares." Felix said, getting aggravated and pushing his face into Locus's chest. Locus ran his fingers through Felix's hair lightly until he reached the nape of his neck. He massaged his neck gently with one hand before letting it lay flat on one of his shoulders. Felix smiled a little, maybe he had convinced him. Or maybe not, only a few moments later Locus pushed him away lightly as if he was sleeping and he was trying not to wake him and stood up. "Fuck you," Felix said into his pillow before pulling a blanket over his head. 

"I'll be back," Locus said over his shoulder as he left like he did every day. Felix didn't have a fight scheduled tonight. and he didn't want to get out of bed either and sort of hoped Locus would lay around and be lazy with him today.

He had just fallen asleep again when the door opened and Locus popped his head in. "Still awake?" he asked.

"Barely, what are you doing here?" Felix rolled over sleepily. Locus came in and held up a brown paper bag.

"I told you I would be back." He said. On close inspection Felix noticed he hadn't changed out of his sleeping pants. "I went to get breakfast." He sat down beside him and Felix dug through the bag. Donuts.

"You say that every day," Felix said. "I'm starting to think you can't say goodbye."

"I just like to remind you that I'm coming back," Locus said, taking a bite out of a glazed donut. "I told you goodbye before I left, I hate that word with a burning passion."

"I don't remember you saying that," Felix said offhandedly. "I guess it's a nice gesture." He leaned his head on Locus's shoulder while he ate, Locus leaned back into him. 

"What did you want me to stay home for?" Locus asked, changing the subject.

"Because we hardly ever hang out anymore, you're always off doing that useless job of yours even though we have plenty of money from that hit job."

"Money runs out."

"I usually get another job before that happens, don't worry, somebody always wants someone else dead." Felix buried his nose in Locus's neck. He smelled like soap and sleep. A fading smell, but still there. Locus surprised him by turning around and giving him a quick kiss on the forehead. "Stop," he laughed, further burying his face into Locus's neck, embarrassed though he wasn't sure why.

"Do you really want me to stop?" Locus's voice was lighter than usual as he laid his chin on top of Felix's head.

"No." he admitted. Locus pulled him out of his neck and kissed him lightly on the lips. Felix was shocked but pulled him in for a deeper one and for once, faced eager readiness instead of indecisive coldness. It felt good. "Is this real?" Felix breathed.

"Yes, this is real, I'm right here Felix."

"How do I know that?"

"You're gonna have to trust me, do you trust me?" Locus said, pulling him into a hug. Felix hugged back. He felt real, and smelled real, and sounded real. He kissed him again. He tasted real. Either this was the most vivid hallucination ever or he was actually having a good time. He chose to believe it.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You sure you're okay?" Locus fretted as Felix wrapped bandages around his fists.

"I've told you yes, like twice already. I tell you every single time I fight," he pulled on a pair of finger-less leather gloves with steel studs on the knuckles. "This isn't my first rodeo, hell this isn't my first rodeo since I got clean. Why do you worry so much?"

"Because you're- my- er- we live together and I care about you a lot," Locus leaned back in his metal chair. 

Felix laughed half heartedly and said, "Love you, too." He started stretching and jumping around, he was like a dog on a leash before every fight, and seeing him excited made Locus excited too, he still didn't like him fighting. He had gone back to it as soon as the arm he broke had been re-broken and healed. Locus had told him to wait a week, but he did it anyway while Locus was at work. Locus was surprised that there were people paying to see under ground street fighting in the middle of the day, but then again, there were no windows and no clocks here. You sort of lost yourself in the fighting and gambling and drinking that went on, he himself was a victim of it now that he was playing "coach" for Felix so he could get in with him behind the scenes and not have anyone question how much he paid to get in. It really was a wonder how petty some of these people got, others didn't care cause they had been drinking and gambling for three days straight without ever coming up for air.

Locus watched Felix draw two lines under each eye in orange face paint, which sort of defeated the purpose of it seeing as how it would distract him more then help him focus but Felix just brushed off the criticism. "The orange thing is a gimmick, they know me for it around here." He said. Locus ran his hand through the orange tuft of hair on top of his head, freshly dyed.

"This isn't enough?" He teased and Felix swatted his hand away.

"Everyone else has a thing, mine is orange and grey stuff." He said tying a simerarily colored bandana around the base of his neck to hide the giant jagged scar there that Felix never wanted to talk about. While he showcased his other scars proudly, mainly the huge one down the side of his face, he liked to hide that one. Locus had asked about it once, on their first day in the army when he had been otherwise blank of scars or tattoos, and Felix had just pulled his shirt up to hide it and looked down. He hadn't said a word about it since then besides to tell him if he wanted to hide it he needed to stop wearing low cut tank tops. In fact he needed to stop wearing low cut tank tops anyway. 

In the ring a fighter was getting drug out between two medics, to be liberal with the term, and patched up off to the side. The announcer was hyping the next fight, between "Felix 'Army Man' McScouty" and someone called "The Bull." Locus gave the other fighter a look over, he was a big guy, but had a slight limp on one leg, mostly due to his top heavy nature, Locus decided. He had rippling muscles that were due entirely to steroids and steroid fueled weight lifting. There was no real strength behind him. Locus gave his report to Felix who nodded as he bit, then licked, his lip. His new lip piercing glimmered with saliva and Locus just noticed he was wearing it or he would have made him take it out, but Felix was already heading into the ring and Locus took a resigned sigh as his words went unnoticed. 

He dared a glance over at The Bull's corner, a muscular woman who could have been his sister was leaning into his ear and he was nodding in the same absent why Felix did. Listening to every word but sizing up their opponent for themselves. Locus wasn't afraid that Felix was going to lose, it wasn't a death match and he still got paid whether he won or not. And besides, Felix was good at what he did.

This was a performance, art, and Felix was an artist. A hell of a good one too. And a hell of an artist never sold his work cheap. The crowd got what Natalie paid for and the crowd paid for what they got. If he won he got the jack pot, if he lost, and made it a good show, he got paid handsomely. Locus didn't care either way, so long as he paced himself and remembered to check his swings. If he pulled a muscle right out of the gate he'd lose. Felix hated losing, so he listened to Locus whenever he could.

~~~

The Bull. Felix had fought him before and it showed in the carful way they paced around the ring. When two top competitors faced off the crowd was in for a show and they were in for a hell of a lot of pain. Felix wasn't afraid of losing here. Bull looked big, and he knew his way around a body- he was a doctor in his spare time after all and had originally got into the business seeing patients for side work- but he had a few very noticeable weak spots that Felix knew all too well. And Bull knew he knew this and also knew none of Felix's. See he used his medical knowledge to gain leverage on all of the regular fighters, but Felix never let him touch him, he had Locus for that. Felix was an unknown, a good fighter, and had earned the nickname Army Man because it was very apparent that he had served from the stories he told of taking alien life.

Felix took out his knife, swung it around, played with it while they waited for the announcer to finish, oh how he could prattle on. "What scares you the most, Doctor?" Felix teased in a low voice only he he could hear. "That the only reason I haven't killed you yet is because police reports don't make for a good show? Or that you know nothing about me?"

"You don't scare me." He snapped, but his weak knee twitched. Felix laughed deeply. The announcer pulled himself up the side of the ring and the bell rang and Felix put his knife away, going in with his fists, hitting low and moving fast. Bull tried to grab him but he ducked between his legs and jumped on his back, holding him by the neck and choking him. He could have finished him there, but he had to make this last a few more minutes before he could. Bull knew this and threw him, Felix let himself be thrown and came back at him. His hand came out of nowhere and grabbed his face, hard, the other came in and sandwiched him. God that hurt. Bull's thumb slipped into his lip piercing, Felix wished he would have noticed before pulling his knife out and burying it in his fore arm. 

Bull cursed and pulled away, bringing Felix's ring with him and sending a tearing sensation up his cheek. In a blind rage he kicked his groin then swept his legs out from under him while he jumped forward, sticking his knife deep into his thigh as he sat on his chest. Bull started to move but the knife was at his neck in an instant. Bull knew Felix wasn't going to kill him, he brought his hands up to choke him but it only made him smile wide and laugh as the bell rung and he spit blood all over his face. He stood in the middle with one fist raised above his head, clutching his bloody knife. Locus screamed from the sidelines. "I told you not to wear that fucking thing!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Felix changed into his street clothes, a t-shirt that read "Graphic depictions of violence" and a ratty pair of blue jeans. He shouldered his bag and look up at Locus with the same sort of look your puppy gives you when he just brought you a dead animal. Pride and happiness and knowing that while you may not like the present you still smiled. Locus wasn't smiling as he looked closely at Felix's torn piercing. 

"I told you not to wear it." He said, using a rag to clean away the fresh blood that formed.

"Right as I was going out there, do you think it'll scar?"

"I'm positive it will, you need stitches."

"Neat, we'll do that when we get home, we'll cuddle after." Felix said, but Locus stopped him from leaving, he made him sit down while he pulled out his kit.

"We'll do it here so I can go ahead and dress it so you don't bleed in my new car." Locus said, dabbing at the area with disinfectant that made Felix flinch far harder then getting the wound.

"Everyone else gets to bleed in their car!" Felix objected, Locus closed his mouth with his thumbs.

"Stop moving." He said sterilizing the needle with a lighter. "Don't make me gag you."

"Are you offering?" Locus jammed a finger down his throat and he coughed a few times before sitting and letting him work. When he was done and cleaning up the area Felix smiled to test it   
"Since you're gonna act like my mom why don't you kiss it to make it better?" He joked. When Locus actually did it he blushed. 

"You taste like blood and disinfectant." Locus said, licking his lips.

"If you're trying to turn me on, its working." Felix said softly. 

Locus smiled and kissed his forehead, leaning into his ear he whispered, "You've had a very noticeable boner since that guy tried to choke you in the ring."

"Well now I'm embarrassed, but I hope everyone realized how huge my dick was." 

Locus shook his head. "I've seen it, I'm not impressed." He patted him on the shoulder. "Let's get home and treat the rest of your wounds shall we?"   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Locus pushed Felix against the wall once they were inside and kissed his neck. "This is unlike you." Felix purred, running his finger through Locus's long shoulder length hair.

"Would you like me to stop."

"Fuck no." Felix said, laughing almost, "Just observing, what got into you?"

"We all have needs, Felix," Locus said, kicking his boots off behind him. Felix nibbled his ear and kissed his neck. "Be carful with your stitches."

"If I pull them you can hold me down again and fix it, right?" Felix purred, pushing his hands against Locus and feeling his muscles. He laughed again. 

"You do a lot of laughing when you want it, don't you?" Locus accused him, kissing the base of his neck and hooking his thumbs in the back of Felix's pants.

"I laugh when I'm excited," Felix said, biting his lip to dampen his smile, "I laughed while that wimp Bull tried to choke me in a last ditch effort to get the pot." 

"I saw that." Locus drug his teeth over a bruise on Felix's cheek. It sent a tingle of pain through his body and he shivered. 

"You're driving me insane," Felix mumbled, "Get to the point already." But Locus kept going slow. Slowly undoing his belt and pulling it out with a harsh thwip, kissing his lips slowly to avoid his stitches, moving his hands over his body in all the right places except one. 

"I like to take things slow, Felix," Locus said.

"Not that last time," Felix wrapped his arms around Locus's neck as he stepped out of his shoes. He laughed remembering the feeling of that wall pressed against his back and Locus between his thighs. Locus brought his shirt up over his head and flung it to the side, Felix's joined his shortly. Locus leaned down, turning his teeth and lips to Felix's torso, licking at his nipple rings and tracing the small heart shaped scar over his real heart with his tongue. He rubbed his stomach gently as he ran his teeth down Felix's shoulder, sending a shiver down his spine. Felix's legs were weak, he needed to lay down. Felix pulled away, Locus look up at him, a primal need in his eyes. Felix wanted to play with that danger in his eyes. He slipped away, his finger telling Locus to follow and he did. 

Felix had hardly been laid down a second and Locus was on top of him again.His slow gentleness dissolved by pure desire. He wrapped one giant hand around Felix's neck and applied gentle pressure as Felix struggled out of his pants. He laughed, almost uncontrollably now, coughing a little. Locus let go of his neck, checked quickly to see if he made any marks. His eyes caught the scar, he traced his fingers across it and Felix froze. They both did, for a moment they were no longer in the throws of passion, time stood still as Felix looked up at him helplessly and Locus looked down on him curiously. Felix shook his head, guided his hand down. "Touch me there, babe." The cold silence was broken by Felix's warm words and they were back to foreplay again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Locus laid beside Felix, tired and thirsty, but he didn't want to get up as long as Felix was burying gentle kisses into his neck. He looked over Felix at the night stand and found a bottle of water. Carefully he pulled it over and drank heavily from it.

"Give me that," Felix said, taking it from him and spilling water on his bare chest. Felix smirked, licked up the few droplets, and drank the rest of the water, a few droplets hung on the corner of his mouth and Locus kissed them off, Felix made a pleased sound. He sighed deeply. "I'm going to hurt all over in the morning, but that was definitely worth it."

"I think you'd be hurting wether or not we had sex." Locus mused, holding his chin and checking to see if his stitches came lose. He jumped out of bed to get his kit from the living room and came back to Felix sprawled out on the bed, with his arms over his head and his eyes closed. If Locus hadn't been so exhausted he might have been ready for a second run. But Felix still had cuts and bruises from the fight and he had to tend to those. Plus, he was already falling asleep.

"What are you doing?" Felix asked, his eyes opening sleepily as Locus pressed alcohol soaked cotton balls to his scrapes.

"Tending to you," Locus answered, pressing a warm damp clothe against a dirty wound. "I have to keep my prize fighting dog in top shape." he laughed absently.

Felix laughed. "Me? A dog? With the noises you made just now?"

"Could you not hear yourself, Lix?" Locus teased.

"Well," he stretched to hid his flinching from the disinfectant, "We're both just dogs of war, aren't we? Fighting and fucking and killing? The army trained us, honed our skills, then set us lose when they didn't need us anymore." He caressed the side of Locus's face, his deep green eyes flicked to meet Felix's light brown ones. "How do you go back to civilian life after being told you're nothing but a gun and a suit of armor?"

"I'm still just looking for an order to follow," Locus admitted. "You keep me busy enough as is, though." Felix smirked and stood up, pulling a towel up off the floor and kissing Locus on last time on the cheek. 

"I'm gonna get a shower." 

"Be careful of your stitches."


	13. Lucky break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys get a new job, Locus has some doubts about their relationship. Felix is a huge fan of Spongebob.

"Felix I'm at work I can't be on the phone."

"What are you wearing." Locus heard a sharp bark in the background.

"Is Zach with you?" He asked.

"What? No that's just the cop. Hey speaking of cops-"

"I'm coming," Locus sighed into the phone.

"Looove you!" Felix chirped as Locus slammed the end call button.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What did you do, Felix?" Locus asked as they walked out of the jail house.

"Nothing I don't normally do," Felix said, rolling his eyes. "The fight club got shut down. Thanks for bailing me out."

"It was your money," Locus reminded him. Felix flinched.

"How much was it?" 

"Check for yourself." Locus climbed into the car, Felix coming in after him. "So what, the fight club's finished?"

"As far as I know it's just gonna get moved. I'm lucky I was just hanging out when they busted in, everyone on the roster got charged with some serious stuff. I got off scout-free."

"I'm glad you're okay. Hell Felix when you said you got arrested I thought they got you for the murders."

"Hits. Not murders," Felix corrected him. "'Murder' implies it was something personal."

"Your luck is gonna run out one of these days." Locus said, but he smiled, amused. Felix grabbed his hand absentmindedly while he looked out the window and turned up the music. Locus looked at him out the corner of his eye, and smiled to himself again. He had been worried about him on the drive over, his heart pounding in his chest. His head spinning so fast he thought he was going to throw up. He had been genuinely worried about him, that he'd lose him. It was a stupid worry to have on his way to bail him out, but he had been worried all the same. He squeezed his hand tightly, rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb. It felt good to have it there.

It was gone just as fast as it had been there. Felix muttered an apology as he took his hand away and set it in his lap. Locus debated whether to say something or not. "We had sex the other night." Felix blurted suddenly.

"I was there."

"I mean- Before that all we had been doing was sleeping in the same bed. Innocent flirting and stuff. And before that- Nothing," Felix said. "It was so sudden and caught me off guard."

"I told you before, I wanted to take things slow, wait until we were back on our feet. Well we're back on our feet now. We've been taking things slow and I thought it was time to kick it up a bit," Locus explained, turning to look at him. "Didn't you like it?"

"Don't get me wrong, I did. But that leaves me thinking- what I am to you." Felix said. Locus turned back towards the road. He didn't have an answer for that. "You tell me you love me, every so often, but then the other night before I fought you stumbled over your words to say you loved me. But then after that you were flirting pretty aggressively. I'm getting mixed signals here." The car was silent until Locus pulled into the driveway. Then he turned to Felix.

"What am I to you?" He turned the question around on him. This time Felix didn't have an answer. "Felix you're more direct then I am. You say you love me all the time, and are constantly flirting with me and cuddling me in bed. And I'm still not clear how you actually feel about our relationship. I don't know what to call it, and neither do you." 

"I guess as long as we're together, that's all that really matters isn't it?" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

This wasn't what Locus wanted to see first thing in the morning, not when he had just poured milk over a bowl of cereal. He also hadn't put a shirt on yet, hadn't bothered to when the doorbell rang because it was probably just Zach. To his surprise and shock it was a cop.

"What's the problem, officer?" He asked, moving aside as the detective pushed his way in. 

"Is there a problem?" The cop asked, fixing his tie and holding out his hand to Locus. "I'm detective Todd Daily. I met your- friend, Felix, at the police department the other day, I had a few more questions for him."

"I'll go get him," Locus said cautiously. He slipped into the bedroom, Felix was sitting up in bed, watching cartoons on his giant TV and eating cereal straight out of the box. He looked like a kid, a big shirtless kid covered in shrapnel scars from his time in the space wars. "There's someone here to see you. A cop."

Felix swallowed hard as he looked over at Locus, pulling a shirt off the floor over his head. "A cop? Or a detective? Cause I have time for one but not the other."

"A cop. Todd Daily he said."

Felix sighed in relief. "Him I was expecting, not on Saturday morning while Spongebob is on, but I was expecting him." Locus threw a shirt on and it wasn't until they were standing in the living room with Todd that Locus realized his navy green UNSC shirt and Felix's "Graphic depictions of violence" shirt had been mixed up and he was wearing what was on him, a skin tight shirt while Felix looked like a child in his. Thinking about this distracted him from Felix and Todd's conversation and he swore he was getting sidetracked more and more by domestic mishaps.

"So what kind of money are we talking?" Locus heard Felix say. 

Todd looked conflicted. "I understand you're used to getting thousands of dollars per person, and this is a big job, a lot of people. I'm not used to hiring mercenaries."

They were talking about a job. "Lucky for you, I'm very flexible. How's about you just look the other way on a few jobs of ours in the future, throw us a few thousand of the dollars tax payers give you to find scum bags like us, and you have yourselves a deal."

"The department thanks you, Felix. We'll send the rest of the details at a later date, but I'm going to warn you, this is gonna be all over the news if its sloppy and we'll be forced to investigate."

"Sir, with all do respect the only thing I do sloppy is fuck."

"Felix!" Locus snapped, but the officer just smiled, tipped his hat, and left. "So- uh-"

"He wants us to clean out a den of gang bangers that have been terrorizing the town. Real bad guys, but not like I care. I'm getting paid." He turned to Locus, his hand on his lap, "I know you were too focused on how cute I look in your shirt."

"I think you look like a kid," Locus said, pushing his shoulder. Felix fell dramatically on his back and Locus pinned him there, brushing noses with him, a hand on either side of his head. 

"This is gonna be a big job, may take weeks. It'll be a big spectacle if we take them out all at once." Felix told him, his brown eyes wide in excitement. Locus wasn't paying attention again. He grunted in agreement but he was already kissing down the side of Felix's neck, sucking on his skin and biting softly at his ear lobe. Felix was trying not to respond to the teasing, if only to make Locus try harder to please him. "What's gotten into you, lover?" He asked playfully wrapping his fingers in Locus's long hair. "The cop isn't even out of the driveway."

"I want to get my shirt off of you." Locus said. Felix swatted at him playfully and kissed him on the lips. Locus was acting like a teenager, making out for no reason besides it was Saturday and he had no responsibilities for the rest of the day. 

"We need to talk about the new job," Felix said, kissing Locus softly on the lips, "get prepared," Locus ran his hand up Felix's side. "Clean our weapons," Locus pulled his pants off, tossing them aside as he went down on him, "Buy ammo-oh," He gasped as Locus wrapped his lips around the tip of his dick. Felix tangled his fingers in Locus's hair, pulling slightly as he swallowed him, his tongue tracing along each of his piercing on his way back up. "You're making it hard to concentrate." Felix scolded him.

"Come on, Felix. It's Saturday." Locus said. His hand replacing his mouth. "It's my one day off." Felix's face was contorted into a look of pleasure as Locus stroked his cock. He let out a breath that sounded like a laugh as Locus kissed his stomach. "Think of it as celebrating the new job." He said, looking up at Felix, who definitely wasn't thinking about the job now as he bucked into Locus's hand. 

"What the fuck do I do with my hands?" Felix muttered softly, watching Locus swallow him again. Locus looked up, his eyes holding the same dangerous passion they held a few nights prior. "How about you tie me up?" He asked playfully. Locus stood up, leaving the space between Felix's legs cold and yearning.

"Safe word?" Locus's eyebrow rose looking down at Felix. 

"Lame," Felix sighed, Locus's face held no sign of giving in, "Fine, the safe word is gun." Locus left, going into the hallway and stopping at the coat closet, he came back with a scarf. "Is that all we have?" Felix asked.

"Would you like me to run to home depot?" Locus asked, agitated that it was taking so long.

"We have all that gauze and stuff, use that."

"We shouldn't waste that stuff Felix, its the scarf or nothing." Locus held it tight.

"Fine, whatever, " He held his hands out, "Go on, tie me up and fuck me. Go on, do it. I deserve it, I brought a cop to our house." 

"Felix," Locus sighed and shook his head but didn't finish his thought, this was ruining the mood. He grabbed him by the wrists and pulled his hands behind his back and tied them together at the wrist. Felix tested his binding, and laid back, "You're smiling like a mad man about to get laid." Locus told him, pushing him into the couch again and kissing his neck.

"I am," Felix said, his breath hot against Locus's neck. he was distracted by the sound of his phone ringing. Normally he would ignore it, but, "That's the ring tone for my guy!"

"Guy? What guy?" Locus asked. 

"My guy. My hit guy. Get the phone!" Felix said. Locus sighed hard and went and got the phone, he answered, holding the phone against his head with his shoulder while he untied Felix's hands. "I swear if you say I'm tied up." Felix grumbled while Locus stalled and he got some pants on. Locus handed him the phone.

"Who's your secretary?" he asked. 

"A pain in my ass," Felix said, Locus shot him a dirty look. "So what's the news, Hank?" When hit jobs started really coming in, Felix decided he had too much going on to filter through them himself and hired a guy to get jobs for him. Felix wasn't his only client, of course, but Hank knew what Felix liked in a job and how much he liked to get paid. He usually got off the phone with him happy. 

"Now Hank, I got a big job coming up this isn't going to interfere is it?" Felix asked, sitting on the couch and watching Locus dump out a bowl of soggy brand flakes and pour a new one. 

"Felix, you don't have to take the job, it's small fish, I can give it to one of my other guys." Hank said, he could hear a leather chair in the background squeaking as Hank laid back.

"What about Zach Miller? I hear he's doing jobs for you now," Felix said.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll give it to him then. Alright see you Lix." He hung up and Felix sighed. The mood was officially dead. Locus sat beside him and turned on the TV.

"Maybe we can catch the end of Spongebob," Felix said as he laid against Locus.

"Why don't you watch anything from this century, Felix?"

"You have every season of Judge Judy on DVD." Felix hissed.

"You bought that for me," Locus said. 

"You still watch them." Felix said. "Sorry I ruined the mood for a phone call that didn't get me a job." Locus tried feeding Felix a bite of his cereal but he turned it down. "I don't like your gross grown up cereal."

"We have all day for sex," Locus said eating the cereal himself. "And your teeth are gonna all rot out if you don't stop eating sugar covered sugar bombs."

"I brush my teeth," Felix started playing on his phone. It would have been the perfect domestic scene, besides for Felix getting a text from Natalie saying that they'd moved the fight club and he had to get over there immediately because she needed help setting up. "I have to go, fight club stuff."

"Felix, do you ever wonder if our dangerous occupations are gonna ruin our personal relationship?" Locus asked. Felix wasn't budging from his place, he was too warm.

"I sure as fuck hope not," Felix grumbled. "We hardly have a personal relationship." He pushed himself up off the couch and stretched.


	14. Dinner Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> long chapt. Locus has doubts about their high risk lifestyle, Felix doesn't.

"Well, there goes dinner," Locus sighed, setting the phone down as he started putting away all the food he had been close to finishing when he got the phone call from Felix that his fight was going to go on longer then he had expected and it would be easier for Locus to come to him. They could split a plate of hot wings at the bar. It was a special occasion, Felix's birthday, so Locus hung behind to cook dinner while he went to his fight. Now he was packing his med kit anyway to head over only an hour later.

The new Fight Club was nicer, decorated a little more, but not too much, it had a full bar and kitchen and plenty of sitting space, all things the old club wanted but could have never fit in that small underground storage complex they appropriated. This place had been under construction for months, Natalie had bought a war bunker off some rich guy who didn't need it anymore now that the war was over. They were only using two quarters of the space and there were talks of an infirmary and even sleeping quarters. Natalie swore that if this place got closed down she was done.

Felix met him at the door, smiling his shit eating grin and chatting up the doorman. This was not the ordinary doorman, they must have been training a new one. Felix waved at Locus walked up and nodded to him. 

"Have trouble finding the place?" Felix chided.

"Didn't want to come," Locus joked back, leaning forward and kissing Felix on the forehead. "Happy birthday."

"Where's my cake?" Felix teased. He grabbed Locus by the wrist and drug him towards the door, but the door guy stopped him.

"Where's your pass?" He asked.

"He's with me." Felix said, "He's my couch he has clearance."

"I don't even know who you are." The man said. Felix rolled his eyes.

"Your job is to look out for cops, moron. It's not your job to know who I am or who he is. The guards are inside."

The doorman rolled his eyes and turned back to his news paper as Felix pulled Locus through and down the winding steps into the fight club bar. There was another fight going on on the big screens set up behind the counter, just in case you didn't feel like walking ten feet into the next room.

"Sorry about dinner," Felix said, sitting on one of the bar stools and swinging side to side a little. "I didn't know it was a tournament tonight or I would have scratched myself.

"It's not a problem, Felix, we'll just celebrate here in between you getting the snot punched out of you," Locus teased. Felix threw a peanut at him from a bowl on the counter and Locus caught it. Felix opened his mouth to say something else but was interrupted by a short man in baggy shorts walking up between them.

"So, 'Army Man' its you and me tonight," he said in a nasally voice, "Did you think you'd make it this far?"

"No, I didn't," Felix answered through gritted teeth, "I wanted to be at home by now eating dinner." He spun to face the other man.

"You should count yourself lucky to be fighting me, I'm the champion at my ring. The name's Red Dusk."

"That's the stupidest fucking name-"

"Aw, shut up, Locus. Quit making fun of our gimmicks." Felix said, throwing another peanut." To Red he said, "Stop trying to intimidate me, buddy. It's not going to work and that's not how we do things here. Do your rules even allow for blades?

"Uh, no. But we're fighting by our rules aren't we?"

"Nope, you fight by host's rules, and we allow blades." Felix smirked and pulled out his military grade dagger, he kept it sharp, its edge glinted in the light. He would have thrown it against the wall for good measure, but it had just been sharpened. Red Dawn swallowed hard. He turned to Locus.

"Are you a fighter?" He asked.

"He's my cheerleader," Felix said, grabbing Locus's had and looking at him dreamily.

"Coach."

"Not last night." Felix winked.

"Felix last night you fell asleep eating caramel popcorn and watching Spongebob DVDs, what are you talking about?" Locus raised an eye brow.

"You watched me eat all that popcorn and you changed my DVDs when I got tired." Felix added.

"So he's your boyfriend?"

"Gross I hope not," Felix said. Red looked from one to the other, sighed, and walked away.

"That's what I'm talking about!" Locus said raising his voice just a fraction. "Anytime we get any alone time or make any plans, like say eating cereal in bed on Saturday morning, we get interrupted by your fighting or our mercenary work. I feel like we can never just be together as normal people because our high risk lifestyle is getting in the way."

"Well, what do you expect? The merc work, the fighting, those are our jobs, the only stuff we can do with all our military training. We go stir crazy if we're not doing something like that. It's part of who we are."

"So what if it is, Felix? We can't keep doing this forever, sooner or later we're going to have to stop, or the work is gonna run out, or one of us is going to die," He stopped talking when Felix's face twisted into some sort of emotion. 

"We can cross that bridge when we get there," He said, his eyes turning downwards. "Right now we're young, and we have our skills and our work, and that big police job coming up. I don't want to think about any of this stuff not working out, okay?" 

"McScouty! You're up, bro!" Someone called. Felix turned, looking conflicted. 

"I'm up," He said, but he sounded doubtful, there was the hint of unspoken grievances in his eyes as he stood up. Locus grabbed his hand as he turned away, and Felix looked up.

"He's shorter then you, account for that, don't let him get under you. Swing with your left arm, your right is still iffy from the break. It needs to be worked out but not here, too many variables," Locus said in his authoritative voice. 

"Thanks, Locus, I love you too," Felix said, walking away quickly.

 

Zach was sitting at the coffee table, spinning a pistol around on its side and sharing a cigarette with Felix, hogging it even though he had been the one to bum it off Felix. Detective Todd Daily was standing near the kitchen counter, his hands on his hips and commenting on how Zach hadn't been a part of the deal when the doorbell rang. Everyone froze,

Locus was the first to move, turning around to see the couple waving at them through the window by the door. Felix blew smoke out his noise and put the cigarette out on the coffee table, Zach gave him a hard look and Locus reprimanded him for treating the furniture poorly. 

“Don't let them in,” Felix said.

“They've already seen us, we don't want to be suspisious. Open the door Locus,” Daily said. Felix gave Locus a look as he opened the door.

“Can I help you?” He asked. The woman smiled.

“We're the Johnsons!” She said. “I'm Gloria!”  
“I'm Sebastian,” The man said, extending a hand. Felix swooped in quickly to take the hand, smiling pleasantly. Locus gave him a thankful look and turned back to the Johnsons. “We noticed you moved into the neighborhood a few months ago and never came by to introduce yourselves.”

“We've been busy,” Felix said, “And now really isn't the best time either.” He looked over his shoulder at the detective and Zach, who was hiding his gun behind his back about as stealthily as you would expect from someone named Zach.

“We'll come by tomorrow then, three o'clock? We'll do dinner!” Gloria said, she held up a covered plate. “We made cookies! Chocolete chip.”

Felix looked at the plate and back at Gloria. “As much as I'd love to, I'm allergic to chocolete and Locs is a hard ass about sugar, bye.” He said, shutting the door.

“That can't happen again,” Daily said, pointing at the door.

“It's never happened before I don't know what the fuck any of that was about!” Felix lifted his hands over his head. “Now I have to throw a fucking dinner party!”

“You don't have to, Felix,” Locus raised one eyebrow.

“We'll talk about this later,” Felix said, running his fingers through his hair to straighten it out. “Anyway, back to the killing people, please?” He said, sitting back down on the couch. Locus closed the blinds and locked the door.

Daily took a piece of paper out of his pocket that had been folded over several times and straightened it out on the counter, he waved his hand and the three men gathered around him. On the paper were the mugshots of seven different, but equally rough looking, individuals. Felix's eyes scanned the names and faces as Daily started to speak. 

“This is the only copy of this form out there. We have seven target of varying threat levels, all are needed to be taken down before the cartel will collapse in on itself,” Daily looked around, his eyes drifting from each of them in turn, they settled on Felix who was calmly sipping from a pink mug while wearing his pajamas. He opted not to say anything. “This page includes their names, allies, aliases, home addresses and addresses of any safe houses they frequent. Good men died getting this information.”

“And now some bad men are going to put it to some good use,” Felix snatched the paper away and pointed at the person on the bottom. “Him, tell me more about him.”

“That's Brandon Barnett, thirty years old, total dirt bag,” Daily said. “He's in line to take control in the event one of the higher ups dies.”

“I know this guy,” Felix said, “he used to sell me drugs.”  
“So you have his trust? That's good,” Daily said. Locus's shoulders went ridged, and Zach looked back and forth from Locus to Felix. Nobody said anything for a minute until Daily broke the silence. “Anymore questions?” He asked.

“Just one,” Locus said, “How long do we have to do this?”

“However long you need, but you report to me before and after you take out every target,” Daily said. “I'll need a list of every weapon you bring, every person you bring with you, every car you dump after using it to get away. I can NOT protect you if I don't have all of this information.”

“If we can't get a hold of you?” Felix pressed as he handed his glass to Locus and made a pouty face. Locus rolled his eyes and went to the fridge.

“Then it's a no go,” Daily said, “You do this on your own time, fellas, but if you can't get in touch with me BEFORE you start your plan, don't do it. If you DO you're doing so illegally and I will have you arrested, understand?”   
“Understood, sir,” Locus said, sitting Felix's glass on the counter beside him. Felix mouthed a thank you and blew him a kiss before saying.

“Anything else before you go, Boss?” Felix asked. Daily shook his head.

“I was never here,” Daily said, grabbing his jacket off the back of a kitchen chair and walking out. Felix let out a long, bored, sigh.

“Can you tell this means more to him then it does to me?” Felix asked.

“Felix, we can't do this job,” Locus said.

“Too late to voice your grievances now, Babe,” Felix said, walking over to the couch and laying down.

“We're going after your old drug dealer-”

“What? Do you not trust me Locus?” Felix snapped. “Do you think killing him is going to drag me back into the drugs? I gave them up, Locus. I've been clean for months.” 

“Two and a half months,” Locus said, “That's not exsactly a long time! It's not that I don't trust you. Addiction is an illness of the mind, I wouldn't trust it anymore than I'd trust cancer.”

“Locus, we have to take this job,” Felix said, watching Zach scurry out the door without saying goodbye, “If we don't what's stopping Daily from taking us to jail, trying us as murders. He knows too much for us to betray him now.”

“And what if he betrays us anyway,” Locus grabbed his shoulders. 

“Then we're screwed either way, aren't we?” Felix asked.

“It's too risky! You and the drugs and the cops-”

“Locus, we have our orders.” Felix snapped, “Remember when orders used to mean something to you? What happened to that Locus?” Locus's hands dropped to his sides. “What happened to you 'still looking for an order to follow?'”

“I suppose,” Locus looked to the side. Felix used his hand to turn his head towards him. 

“Locus, we're soldiers, through and through. Don't you remember what the caption said? What he told you that night? You're just a gun-”

“And a suit of armor,” Locus finished. Felix smiled and patted his face.

“Living in this house is making you forget what we are, Locus. Going to that job everyday, sticking to a routine, it's making you soft. We're not civilians,” Felix said, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. 

Locus sat back on the couch and Felix laid his legs across his lap, twitching his feet until he started to rub them. Felix turned on the TV and yawned. “I miss my armor, don't you?” Felix asked. 

“In a way, yes,” Locus answered, and then he had an idea.


	15. Six out of twenty two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix has some trouble sleeping. Locus doubts his sanity.

It felt like he had known Locus his entire life. He couldn't think back now and drag up a memory, a good one at least, without Locus in it. And yet there had been a time before that, sixteen whole years, a good chunk of his life without that dark-skinned deep-voiced man who was now the only constant in his life.

What had that been like? He could hardly remember, the drugs had really done a number on his memory, everything was hazy now. What had he been like before the army?

He needed this question answered, it drove him mad to the point that when Locus kissed him goodnight and rolled over to sleep, he stayed awake. Trying to remember, but the more he tried the more hazy it got to the point the only thing he remembered was that his last name was really Lauren.

“Did you sleep at all last night?” Locus asked him, sitting up in bed to find Felix hours into a Spongebob marathon.

“Not a bit,” Felix said, the bags under his eyes were a deep purple color, more from stress then the sleepless night. Locus pulled him into a hug, kissed the top of his head and made him lay down. “What are you doing?”

“Making you get some sleep, it is not healthy to stay up all night.” Locus rubbed his back and side. It felt good and Felix's eyes started to flutter closed, but the moment Locus stopped talking his thoughts ran wild again, managing to drag up a random memory of a birds' nest falling from a tree.  
“Keep talking,” Felix said, pressing his face into Locus's shirt to block out the light from the sun outside.

“Keep talking?” His voice was light, almost playful. “About what?”

“Anything, recite poetry for all I care,” Felix said. “I just need your voice in my ears to fall asleep.”

Locus was quiet for a moment, thinking. He never was good at impromptu speeches of any kind, but he started talking after a long thought. “Did I ever tell you who I was before the war?”

“I've never asked,” Felix said, of all the topics to pick, it was the one he was having trouble with.

“I was a very different person, I hated violence and the thought of death. A bird who sat on my window and sang every morning died, and I mourned it for days.”

“No you didn't,” Felix said, pushing on him softly, “Not my Locus.”

“I wasn't Locus back then, I was William,” Locus reminded him. “William was a bleeding heart. He had lots of friends and was going to graduate at the top of his class.”

“It's a wonder he went into the army.” Felix's eyes were starting to feel heavy.

“His father died,” Locus went on, “When he was only two months from graduating, and it broke him. He had to quit school and work full time, but it wasn't enough to keep the house. He stayed with friends a lot, but the stress was really getting to him. He started snapping at them, until nobody was left...” His voice trailed off.

“That's when you joined, to avoid being homeless,” Felix snorted, “A lot of good that did.”

“It did do a lot of good, Felix, I toughened up, learned to keep things inside and use my rage in an efficient manner.”

“But you were still homeless after that. You couldn't avoid it.”

“But I also met you,” Locus said, tightening his grip on Felix. “And when you were with me things weren't as bad, and I could trust you.”

“You're not remembering that correctly, babe. Being homeless sucked and we fought all the time.”

“It was still better than being all alone, darling.” The way Locus said 'darling' so casually made Felix's heart melt. “I wouldn't do it again for anything. But we made it out, it was all part of getting here.”

Felix yawned and stretched, his eyes were firmly shut now. “I could have done without that part of my life, but I'm glad you're still around.” He tensed up in Locus's arms. “You are still around, right?”

“I'm real, Felix, and I'm not going anywhere,” Locus assured him. “I'm right here, always. Now go to sleep.”

Felix fell asleep after that, reassured somewhat but not completely. When he woke up, Locus was gone and he couldn't help but panic, he shot up out of bed and out of his bedroom, stopping hard when he caught eyes on him. Locus was standing in the middle of the living room, talking to the Johnsons and holding a covered plate. They all turned to look at him as he came barreling out the door.

“Oh, there you are,” Felix said, his hand coming up to cover his beating heart.

“Felix are you okay?” Locus asked, setting the plate down on the table and taking a few steps towards him, Felix extended his hand to stop him.

“I'm fine, Locs,” He said, “Just... wake up jitters, you know how I get.” He looked past him at the Johnsons and smiled a bit. “Excuse me for interrupting.” He said and slipped back into the bedroom. 

Felix leaned against the wall and took several deep breathes before walking to the bathroom and splashing water on his face. He looked at the clock. It was just past twelve, Locus shouldn't have been home. He thought he had work today.

He got dressed and walked back into the living room to find Locus and the Johnsons sitting at the table drinking coffee, he sat down next to Locus and took a sip of his , but regretted it because it was black with no sugar.

“Gross,” he said swallowing the hot bitter sip.

“I didn't ask you to drink my coffee,” Locus said, but he smiled anyway.

“So are you two brothers?” Gloria asked, her fingers wrapping around her cup as she smiled pleasantly.

“Gross I hope not,” Felix got a glare from Locus, “No, we're roommates.” He stood up, eyeing the coffee pot. He didn't need caffeine right now, it was probably the last thing he needed. He got a glass of orange juice instead, hoping that something in his stomach would make the anxiety sending blooms of pain over his chest go away. Once the juice hit his stomach he felt like throwing up.

“How long have you known each other?” Sebastian asked, probably in a long line of questions he hadn't heard.

“Six or so years,” Locus said, he watched Felix curiously, he wasn't acting right and it almost seemed like he'd rather these people not be here. They wouldn't notice from the way he smiled how uncomfortable he was, but Locus could tell in the careful way he sipped his juice. “Felix, why don't you eat something?”

“I probably should,” Felix admitted, he started to stand up but Locus made him sit.

“I'll get you something,” he said, knowing Felix would go straight for the sugary cereal or donuts and not eat something healthy like he probably should. He brought him back a bowl of yogurt and a spoon and set it in front of him. The awkward chitchat with the neighbors was causing his lip to twitch, and Locus knew what that meant from their time in the army. He was about to snap. “It's been lovely, guys really, but me and Felix had plans today.”

“Don't let us keep you then, fellas,” Sebastian said, sticking his hand towards Felix, this time Locus was the one to intercept.

“Have a nice day.” He said, walking them towards the door before they could say another word to Felix.

He came back to find Felix picking through the yogurt with the spoon and digging out the berries. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“No, I couldn't sleep last night,” Felix said, “It put me in a bad mood, but I'm over it now.”

“Are you sure? Why couldn't you sleep?”

“I had a lot on my mind,” Felix answered, standing up and dumping the bowl out before tossing it in the sink.

“You should have eaten that,” Locus scolded him.

“My stomach's upset, it wouldn't have gone down.” Felix said, walking back towards the bedroom. Locus followed him.

“Going back to sleep?” He asked, sitting on the bed.

“Nope, I'm going out.”

“Out? Out where?” Locus asked. It wasn't like Felix to leave the house without making plans first.

“I need to go see someone about something,” He said, changing into a clean shirt and pulling on a pair of pants. “Don't be offended, but I don't want you to come.” He looked up, his eyes were tired. Locus was reminded of the warehouse, and the hollow look in Felix's eyes when he came home. “Don't ask me where I'm going either. I'll tell you when I get back.”

“Should I plan on you being home for dinner?” Locus asked.

“No, I don't think so.” Felix slipped his shoes on. He leaned towards Locus and gave him a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Locus's hand came up to caress his face and guide his lips to his. 

“I love you, Felix,” Locus said, “Don't do anything stupid.”

___________________

Felix parked the car on the other side of the road, he looked up at the house, the small one story home with the wrought iron fence around it that he had grown up in. He could still pinpoint the window he had jumped out of when he ran away, and the place where his bag had caught on the fence as he jumped it. 

His mother's car was parked in the driveway, with its pink roof and white body it stood out, almost as much as the orange car he sat in now stood out. He finally took a deep breath and clenched his fists, wishing for the thousandth time that he had let Locus come with him. But his was something he had to do one this own. Saying sorry wasn't going to be easy, but he had to do it. And do it alone.

He knocked on the door three times and waited, out of the corner of his eyes he saw the blinds rustle and eyes peek out, and then the door was open. He looked at his mom, in six years she had hardly aged, and changed very little, she was a woman stuck in her ways.

“Mom, before you say anything, I know I screwed up. I'm trying to fix it,” He said. Her face held no emotion, it was all trapped in her brown eyes, and even then he couldn't tell exactly what she was feeling. “I came to say I'm sorry.”

“No,” she said, sighing deeply, “I should be sorry Felix.” She let him in, motioned towards the kitchen table. He sat down, trying to place if this was the same table he had grown up with. “I looked for you after you left.”

“You wouldn't have found me, I changed my last name,” Felix reassured her.

“You did? Why?” She sat down across from him.

“To join the army, of course,” he said. “I go by McScouty now.”

She snorted. “That's a ridiculous name, Felix. And you hated Lauren being your last name.”

“My, er, lover's name is Locus, so I count my blessings,” Felix said, his nails tracing the swirls in the wood on the table top.

“Your lover?” She asked.

“That's the best way to describe it I think,” Felix said, “I could call him my boyfriend but I don't think he'd like that.”

“You always did like to keep people at arm's length.”

“Well, that's the thing, it's him keeping me away, I think. We haven't talked about our relationship in a while, I don't know where we stand.”

“Why did it take you two years to come back, Felix?” She asked, unexpectedly. He really should have expected it.

“I didn't have a car, or money, not until recently,” he said. “I was homeless for a while, then of course I was on drugs and after that work got pretty hectic.”

She looked down. How does it feel to know you turned your son away so he could become homeless and addicted to drugs? He thought but didn't say. “Why are you here?”

“I need to know who I was before I ran away and joined the army,” Felix said, clasping his hands in front of him, “I can't remember, and I'm sort of having a crisis. I need to know if I-”

“You want to know if you were always a stone cold bastard?” She asked, she offered the words up too quickly. That was never a good sign. “I wouldn't say you were-”

“But you did.”

“You were an angry child, Felix, from the moment you were born I just knew you were going to be a handful, but I underestimated you. Don't get me wrong, you didn't stop crying until you learned to talk, but you never stopped pouting.”

It was starting to come back to him, the ill feelings that plagued him as a child. “Don't get me wrong, you were a happy child,” she said. “The smile on your face when you brought me that dead bird would have been priceless besides for the fact that you were bringing me a dead bird you knocked out of a tree with a rock.” She paused, “You were four or five at the time.”

“I couldn't have known what death meant at that age,” Felix said, but he did remember the bird now that she said something. The memories were still hazy but the longer he spent here the more the cobwebs cleared.

“I told you, 'This bird is dead, baby.' And you just smiled even brighter and said, 'I know!' In the brightest voice you could have used.” She shook her head and took one of her son's hands in her own. “I knew that day what you were going to turn into, Felix. A killer. And you proved my suspensions every single day. With the small things you said and did. I wanted to put you into therapy but your father said you were too young for that until you turned twelve, then he said it was too late.”

“You guys had a lot of faith in me, didn't you?” Felix asked, smiling a little. It was an unsettling smile, her face fell when he did it. 

“I knew you were going to want to go into the army, even after your brother died. I tried to stop you, honestly I thought I had more time, when you disappeared...” She trailed off. “There was no use looking for you.”  
“So I was a lost cause?” He stood up and turned away from her. 

“What did you want me to tell you Felix? That there was hope for you? Are you trying to get better?”

“No, no nothing as dumb as that,” he said. “You've told me everything I wanted to hear.”

“Felix, don't think this means I never loved you, I always did,” she said, sadness creeping into her throat.

“I'm sorry you had to love a murderer.” He said, walking towards the door, towards his car, towards home, but she stopped him with a hand on his wrist.

“Felix, stay,” she said.

“I have to get home, Locus is waiting.”

____________________

 

It was late at night when Felix came limping in the doorway, covered head to toe in dark, sticky, blood. Locus panicked and ran to his side.

“Were you attacked?!” He demanding, spying the scratches up and down Felix's arms and the bruises on his cheeks. Felix slumped into Locus's chest and wrapped his arms around him. “Felix is this your blood?” 

“No, its not.”

“Who's is it?!”

“I-I don't know, I was pissed so... I stood in an alley until someone walked by... And I fucking stabbed them.”

“Why?! Felix you need to be careful!” Locus said, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him.

“Locus, I told you I would tell you where I wen when I got home, but now that I'm here I don't think I want to.”

“Just get out of those clothes moron.”

____________________

 

Locus dropped his gun on the couch, gazing over at Felix as he drug his duffle bag inside. “Pick that up you'll break it.”

“Fuck you, I'm tired,” Felix snapped, dropping one of the straps to point at Locus. One of the other mercs walked in behind him and picked it up, she slung it over her shoulder and eyed Felix sarcastically.

“Thanks Wendy,” Locus sighed. The house was dark, the only light was the streetlight outside as fourteen or so hired mercenaries filled their small two bedroom house, carrying guns and other various pieces of equipment inside and milling about aimlessly to make sure they didn't miss anything. Locus held the most important case in his left hand, still crusted in blood from the fight tonight, and that was the money case Daily had handed over after the target had been neutralized. The men and women in the room stood around him when the cars had been unloaded and stared at it in anticipation. Locus would have called them greedy if he didn't know where they were coming from. They had recruited off the streets and from Felix's connections at the fight club, Felix's net-worker refused to put any of his men after a job so heavily involved in the police, they took what they could could get in means of help. 

They always had Zach, that was a given. Wendy from the thrift store had been a shock to Locus, he wasn't even sure what possessed him to ask her. But she had been willing to help. 

As he passed out the money they all took off, with strict orders from Felix to stay in touch, Wendy was the second to last to take hers, with Zach being the last and least excited to get his money, he sat on the couch and shared a cigarette with Felix as they made idle chit chat.

“So this is what you guys have been up to lately,” She said, taking the money in her hand carefully.

“It's not usually such a big job,” he admitted. “Usually one or two people tops, the three of us can usually handle it alone.”

“You, Felix and?”

“Zach,” he pointed to the man sitting on the couch, casually discussing TV shows while splattered in blood. Zach looked up confused when he heard his name.

“Oh, so you wouldn't need me for a smaller job then, huh?” She asked. 

“It depends on whether we need three people or four, we'll give you a call if we do,” Locus said. It hit him how casually he talked about these things, how he and fourteen other people had just staked out and killed a dozen people on the other side of town, how he had paid them from their crimes and sent them away, and now he was discussing working another job with someone as if it was brunch.

He looked down at Felix and Zach and the first thing he noticed was that Felix was going to need to dye his hair again soon and that Zach had a hole in the shirt he and Felix had bought him for his birthday, not that the two of them were covered in blood or that Felix was sharpening a knife. Had they gone completely insane? 

He said goodbye to Wendy and walked to the bathroom, playfully stroking Felix's hair as he passed and feeling Felix push into the touch. That normally would have brought a smile to his face and coaxed out a sweet word or so, but he was made painfully aware of the blood in Felix's hair and it distracted him.

“You need to get a shower, babe,” he said, sliding his hand off the top of his head.

“I'll join you in a minute,” Felix said, lovingly. That made Locus smile. 

He closed the door behind him and pulled his clothes off his body. He looked up at himself in the mirror, dried blood trails swirled their way down his neck as naturally as his long locks of hair. He started the shower, letting it run for a minute to get warm before stepping in, he liked his showers cold and short, Felix like his hot and long, when they showered together the water stayed somewhere in between, but they could stay in there for hours if they didn't pay attention. Locus scrubbed his neck and washed his hair, closing his eyes tightly. The blood could run down the drain and away onto nothing, but he couldn't wash away his actions. 

A hand touched his shoulder and he turned around slowly to see Felix stepping in. He had no trouble fitting, the shower was pretty big, they had it put in a few weeks before when Felix started to complain about the previous shower being too small, this one could easily fit four people, so the two of them fit just fine. 

Locus rinsed the soap from his hair and turned to admire Felix. His arms were covered in tattoos and blood and his hands were stained red from having too much fun tonight. He looked at the dagger tattoo on the back of Felix's hand, the blood dripping down could have been part of the designed, but it washed away when he grabbed his hands and pulled him under the running water. Felix smiled, when Locus thought about it he really did have a nice smile when he was genuinely happy.

“Did Zach leave?” Locus asked, he ran his fingers through Felix's hair to help wash away the blood that rested there, he looked for an injury and found a deep cut. He'd take care of that when they got out.

“Yeah, he took his money and left,” Felix said, leaning into Locus as he washed his wound with the warm water. “Is it bad?”

“You'll need a couple of stitches, what happened?”

“I got hit over the head with the butt of a gun, he didn't hit hard enough to knock me out, that was his first mistake.”

“If he was in that building I'm sure that wasn't his first mistake,” Locus said, placing a kiss on Felix's cheek. “You need to dye your hair again, I can see your roots.”

“Are you trying to tell me I went on a assassination and fought like five guys and my hair didn't look good?” He asked as Locus found another wound on Felix's side.

“Your hair looked fine, it was dark,” He said, moving his hands over his body, searching for bruises and cuts. There were a few, none that needed immediate care. Felix grabbed Locus's hand and flipped it over to look at his wrist.

“You should get a tattoo,” He said, holding his hand close. 

“Of what, Felix?” Locus asked, pulling his hand away and using it to grab a rag, he soaped it up and washed his partner. 

“My name,” Felix said and Locus smiled.

“Why would I want to tattoo your name on my skin?” Locus asked, running the rag over Felix's arm, washing away the remaining bits of blood that clung to his arm hair.

“Why wouldn't you?” Felix asked, turning around so Locus could wash his back. “We're together aren't we? Some couples have rings, you'll have my name on your wrist.” 

“Where will you have my name?” Locus inquired. “What about right above your heart.” He asked, splaying his hand out over his chest. Felix laughed and pressed into his body.

“That seems like as good of a place as any,” He laughed, turning his head to catch Locus in a kiss. “Wash my hair?” He asked.

“You have a large open wound on your head, I don't think you want soap anywhere near it.”

“You're right,” Felix said, “We'll have to take a rain check on that.” He turned around, got up on his tip toes and whispered into his ear. “Did you want a blow job?”

“I thought you were tired, Felix?” Locus teased, pushing his shoulders down. “I assumed that was why you had me bathe you.”  
Felix didn't answer verbally.

____________________

 

Felix watched TV while Locus stitched up his head, which was laid carefully on his lap. He crossed his arms over his chest. “I love you, Locus.”

“You haven't said that in a while.” Locus said.

“I felt like it was losing it's meaning,” Felix admitted. “It's easy for me to tell you that in those exact words, but not in my actions, not like you tell me every day.”

“I've told you I love you in so many words,” Locus said. 

“I can count the times on one hand.”

“Would you like me to tell you more?”

“You're telling me right now, stitching up my head.”

“That's my job.”

“It's your job, yeah. But you don't have to do it so slow and gentle. Or let me lay down while you do it.”

“What are you trying to say, Felix?” Locus finished his task and tied the wound off carefully. He held Felix's head in his hands.

“Do you know how much I love you?”

“I do.”

“Is it enough?”

“More then I deserve.”


End file.
